4/07/2014

Never Have I Ever: Mom Edition

Who has (possibly hazy) memories of playing the drinking game, "I Never"? Apparently now it's called, "Never Have I Ever" but the premise is the same. One person makes an adult-type statement, such as "Never have I ever had sex," and then everyone who has had sex has to take a sip of their alcoholic beverage. A way to be a good sport was to say something that you had, in fact, done. So if we were playing together right now, I might say, "I never played drinking games." And then I would drink.

One of the things that I always liked about the game was that it was a great way to build rapport and to find out you weren't alone in some of your stupid mistakes. I've been going through old blog posts lately, and one thing that strikes me is how alone I felt in my earlier days of motherhood. I was sure no one else's kids threw as many tantrums as mine, or that I was the only one who spent an entire day covered in stains and messy hair. So. . . .


(You don't HAVE to drink if you've ever done any of these things. You can just mention it in the comments. Or chuckle to yourself. But if you'd like to drink, have at it. I won't be drinking, because I've done all of them and Monday morning is not an appropriate time to get white girl wasted.)

Never Have I Ever:

  • Gone out in public in clothes I thought were presentable only to find out that I have baby spit up down my back.
  • Accidentally flashed anyone while breastfeeding in public.
  • Licked my baby's pacifier after it fell on the floor and stuck it back in his mouth.
  • Had my toddler scream so loudly in the grocery store that people turned to stare. 
  • Restrained my toddler so that I could get him into his car seat.
  • Had my toddler run away from me in a public place. 
  • Bribed my child with my phone to get him to behave.
  • Had to carry my child out of a play date.
  • Accidentally cursed in front of my children so often that they said, "Shit!" when they dropped something as toddlers.
  • Given in to my toddler's demands just to stop the screaming.
  • Gone to the store in pajama pants.
  • Forgotten about a class or practice, even though it was written on my calendar.
  • Sent my kid to school in dirty socks because there aren't any clean ones. 
  • Let my kids eat fast food for dinner.
  • Let my kids be on screens for more that an hour a day.
  • Yelled.
  • Secretly donated a toy that I really, really hated.
  • Forgotten to make my child do her homework.
  • Let my kids miss school to do something fun. 
What about you? What embarrassing/not so responsible things have you done as a parent? Let me know in the comments. 

Time for Mom

43 comments:

Masshole Mommy said...

I've actually never played a drinking game - crazy, huh? As a mom I have done so many things I never thought I would - things I never could have imagined and there are WAY too many to count.

valmg @ Mom Knows It All said...

I've actually never played any drinking game other then quarters and that was just once. One time and one time only did I go to the store in my pajama pants. I never see anyone at that store. Except for that day.

JT and Amanda said...

This would be fun to play as a family game with my kids using M and M's or something. We don't drink and I've never played a drinking game.

Kelly Hutchinson said...

Um...I have some pretty embarrassing memories of playing this one with an adult beverage or two lol. This is a much better version.

Nicole said...

Wow - I forgot all about "I Never." I laughed outloud thinking about playing that game with friends.

Erica said...

I think I have done most of these. Except, phones weren't play worthy when my kids were toddlers!

Linda Carmical said...

Lawdy lawdy lawdy! I have played me some drinking games! I know these people in Round Lake, NY that can make a drinking game out of ANYTHING! Even kicking a pine cone in a cup! Sorry for sips was a huge favorite!

I'm a good girl now. ;)

kristi said...

My youngest son is now 9. Once when he was about 3 o 4 I took him to the little play area near Jc Penney at the mall with a friend and her daughter. While all the kids played on the little structures, there goes Ryan tearing through the mall and me running after him. He thought that was the funniest damn thing. I wasn't happy about it then but I can laugh about it now! :)

Scott said...

Apparently this game is now a thing among grade school kids... My daughters were playing it the other day in the car with their friends.

Cindy Batchelor said...

lol these are great! loved reading through them!

Shauna Torres said...

Ha, ha, ha... those are hilarious... I have flashed a boob many times while nursing... HA

(Terry) My Journey With Candida said...

Many years ago I had a board game that was a drinking game. That was so long ago, that I don't remember much about it.... except you could get pretty drunk playing it.

erin said...

haha! All of those!! Yes. Yelled. Me, never....not in the last 30 seconds anyway.

Jaredamy said...

Sometimes, I make the kids a quick dinner so my husband and I can have takeout in peace and quiet at night.

Pam said...

This definitely made me chuckle. I've done more of these than I would like to admit.

Melissa Tiffany said...

HAAAAAA!!! It's a shame we didn't make it into a drinking game bc I would be white girl wasted right there with you!! I could use the break. :)
So, Never Have I Ever ignored my kids all day while I was REALLY into a book that I couldn't put down...
Hey, I'm teaching them to passionately LOVE treading, right?

Tiffany

becca said...

hehe this gave me a good giggle I'm sure I did some of this at some point but who knows it's been awhile since my son was small.

Ashley B. said...

I love the game Never Have I Ever! I haven't played it in awhile though, lol.

Pam said...

I have Never played this game or even heard of it, LOL.

However I am guilty as charged of everything in that list at some point in my list. Fun post!

Lawna Noe said...

I recently played this game for the first time at a Bachlorette party. Turns out, I am a pretty boring lady.

Sarah-Louise Bailey said...

I'm not a Mum so I've definitely never done any of them.

Have to admit I've never played the game before either :) x

Annie said...

Not a parent, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did any of the things you listed later on :P

Denise Gabbard said...

Funny post-- these are all what I call "second child" things. The first baby, you are all uptight, but by the time number two comes around you realize you got this!

Tough Cookie Mommy said...

I can relate to having those kinds of moments too. I think we get overwhelmed as moms sometimes so it's not such a bad thing.

Amber Nelson said...

Ha! I remember that game all too well.

Amber Nelson said...

Ha! I remember that game all too well.

Anonymous said...

I have never heard of this of course I do not drink so I have never played. I guess it could be fun, just not my thing. I have plenty of goofy things I have done as a parent though.

Liz Mays said...

Would we even be human if we hadn't done some of those things? I can honestly say I've never played the drinking game. I did drink though!

Amanda & Jenni said...

I've played a few games in my day. This dirty socks one made me laugh because I for sure put my son in mismatched socks this morning so he would make it to the bus on time.

Toni Patton said...

I have done most of those things too :) . I think everyone has even if they don't admit it.

Clancy Cash Harrison MS, RD, LDN said...

very funny- thank you for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

What a good idea for a post LOL I can't participate because I'm not a mom, but I enjoyed reading yours!

Teresa Moody said...

Haha. I have a lot of never have I ever. lol

Rachel said...

This is hilarious! Thanks for sharing! Now I want to come up with my own "never have I ever" list! :)

Marni Mutrux said...

Too funny! Now that I'm a mom, I think I've done all of these things too.

Marielle Altenor said...

Too funny! I've done quite a few of the things you've mentioned. Glad I'm not alone lol here's one "Lied about the boogie man coming out at night so that my child would stop asking me to take him to the parc!"

Babita@BabsProjects.com said...

I have never played drinking games but I do like the confessional idea behind it. Like you mentioned it would work great with the drinks too.

Amanda Ripsam said...

I never played a drinking game either I'm glad I'm not the only responsible nerd who don't have friends who invite me to drinking game parties. lol

Amanda McMahon said...

Sounds like a good game for a mom's night in for sure!

Valerie Negron said...

This is super neat and fun! Loved your answers!

Melanie said...

Great list..thanks for sharing with us and well.. as a mom you do things you would have never ever thought you would.. like. ahhmmm that poor toy that disappeared.. Whoops, no idea where it went..LOL

Beth Green said...

I'm cracking up! I've done so many of these things and more... plus played my fair share of drinking games, but not with my kids! ;) coming from #typeaparent

Rachee said...

I never thought I would be that mom who hovered but lord I was! Glad I got over it.