Imagine that you see a tallish person wearing a teased wig. The person has orangey-red lipstick and eyeliner that looks like it was done with a Sharpie. The person is wearing black pants with gold pinstripes, a tight black t-shirt and a black jacket with rhinestone buttons and a fur collar. Clear plastic heels adorn the person's feet.
Now imagine that you are seeing this person walk into the playground where your children are playing.
Do you think, OMG, there's a drag queen at the park! Maybe she'll want to be friends and I won't have to hear the tenth birth story of the morning! Maybe we can go to a gay club over the weekend - I've so missed them. What will I wear?
Maybe that's just me.
But wouldn't you get a little bit of a thrill if a drag queen (and his/her grandchild) showed up at the playground when you were bored to tears?
Now imagine that as you get into a conversation with said drag queen, you realize that she has no Adam's apple. And her voice sounds naturally high-pitched. And the child calls her, "Grandma". And to your horror you realize that this "drag queen" you wanted to befriend is just a woman with really, really, bad style.
Do you still attempt to make friends with her, or do you casually wave as you go to your car?
At least I smiled as I waved.
Ha! So I guess you two are going shopping together this weekend?
ReplyDeletetotally have to be friends! She could provide hours of entertainment!
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! That hasn't happened to me yet, but there's a person that lives in my parents' neighborhood that they call Man-Boob. I think it's just an unfortunate looking woman, but my parents are convinced it's a man who is changing over.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! It's kind of sad for her that the first thought you had was not grandmother...but drag queen! On the other hand, maybe in your sedate neighborhood, you were wishing for a little Midtown KC! :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe at one time that was her best outfit. At least you smiled AND waved! It is more than some people would do.
ReplyDeleteI'm having a hard time picturing a GRANDMA in clear plastic heels. Thats just wrong.
ReplyDeletejersey grandmas are the best. she might make a mean gravy !!!
ReplyDeleteOh good gawd woman you sure are funny!
ReplyDelete"Grandma" reminds me of a time when I was interviewing a candidate for an Executive assistant position. This chick had dark purple eyeshadow practically up to her eyebrows. Then that lovely dark shadow was topped with some frosty purple shadow reaching her eyebrows. Her lip liner made these two pointy triangles on top of her mouth. I don't know about you but the top of my mouth is a bit more round.
Ha just thinking of her now makes me laugh. I had trouble taking her seriously. I just couldn't take my eyes off her crazy makeup
I'd make friends with "her" and pretend that "she" was a drag queen. It would make me feel better about myself.
ReplyDeletesmile and nod.
ReplyDeleteWordvixen - You make an excellent point. And she probably wouldn't try to it on Hubby, which all my drag queen friends have.
ReplyDeleteHey, great observation about the lack of Adam's apple!
ReplyDeleteLeast she was different. You're wishing for some excitement at the park reminds me of the Tom Perrotta novel Little Children. They mad ea movie as well but it wasn't nearly as good.
ReplyDeleteI would INSTANTLY befriend her. Seriously. She would make me look normal...or guilty by association...
ReplyDeleteOh my! That is hysterical. I do love to see bad fashion at the park though, so I probably would have waved as well...
ReplyDeleteMaybe at one time that was her best outfit. At least you smiled AND waved! It is more than some people would do.
ReplyDelete