Yesterday Hot Guy and I went to the movies. We've been trying that more and more often when my parents baby-sit, which means we have seen 2 movies in the theaters in 2011. You're jealous, aren't you?
The problem is, we try to only go to the early early movies, because we are cheap. This limits our options. Last month, for example, our options were True Grit or some comedy that I can't remember. Needless to say, we saw True Grit. I used to be the kind of movie fiend that saw all the Oscar-bait movies beforehand, now I'm lucky if I've seen one or two.
This year, however, it's going to be 4. The Social Network and the Kids Are Alright(yay for DVDs), True Grit (which I liked more than I expected) and Black Swan. I was not dying to see Black Swan, my years of ballet lessons notwithstanding. However, the original reviews were good and it has won Natalie Portman all of those awards. Plus, it was either that or wait for 2 hours to see The King's Speech or The Fighter.
I'm thinking that we should have waited.
It's not that the movie creeped me out. I can handle creepy. Although mother/daughter creepy? Is SUPER creepy. It's not that it was too gory. I enjoyed Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland and Pulp Fiction, after all. It's not even that it was CLEARLY conceived and written by men who often fantasize about dark haired ballerinas.
It's that I just didn't care. Black Swan was well-acted and the cinematography was great. But I didn't give a crap about the characters. I started the movie intrigued, by the end I just kept hoping there'd be more dancing. Or that the movie would be over. I am so ticked I wasted our bimonthly movie trip on this.
I am tempted to write a note to the screenwriters:
Dear sirs (yes, they're all men),
Making metaphors so obvious that even the Jersey Shore cast could grasp them does not mean your script was deep. Metaphors are also not a substitute for character development. If your main character had been played by any less of an actress than Natalie Portman your movie would have been dead in the water.
Sincerely,
A (female) viewer
PS I'm pretty sure Vivid Entertainment has a section for crazy chick porn. Perhaps they would appreciate your next script.
I'll be honest. I have been off grown-up movies since I had kids. Not only that I haven't gotten to see many, but I haven't wanted to. Having 3 kids in four years, plus breastfeeding all of them kinda left me hormonally charged. I've been sticking to comedies, so I'm not an expert on recent Oscar movies. But Black Swan is not even a tenth of the movie A Beautiful Mind, American Beauty, Crash or Million Dollar Baby was.
Though I will give them points for employing Winona Ryder. If Charlie Sheen can still have a career, Winona certainly should.
