One of Us Has Issues

Very early on in our relationship, Hot Guy rearranged my refrigerator. As all it contained was breakfast food, condiments and diet Pepsi, I didn't really think much about it. If he wanted to bring food over and cook it for me, who was I to complain about the organization of my refrigerator? Besides, it was so cute how much interest he took in it.

Now, of course, I make breakfast and lunch for the kids and myself every day. A lot of times I have to make dinner (or, you know, an attempt at dinner) too. The refrigerator is usually full. So - and it was just a coincidence that Hot Guy was out of town - I rearranged the fridge and freezer the way I like it. I like to have things organized because my short-term memory is shot from lack of sleep. Sorting things by category allows me to find things quickly, which makes me happy. And cuts down on the whining. The kids appreciate quick service.

Anyway, now Hot Guy is back. And what did I discover on the breakfast shelf of the freezer this morning? Chicken nuggets. I mean, sure, the kids probably WOULD eat them for breakfast. But they don't. The chicken nuggets had been on the meat shelf. With the other meat. Like should be put with like. In rows. With the oldest ones in the front. Because that's what makes sense, right? RIGHT?

Already his expensive Parmesan has moved from the cheese shelf to right in front of the yogurt.

I think his system can be summed up as, "Wherever I can put it quickly". He says it has to do with being a cook. Either way, it means that stuff gets forgotten as it winds up in the back. And you always have to move stuff out of the way to get what you want. And it just looks messier. Not that he seems to care. He has absolutely no respect for my system.

So, which one of us is the problem here? Do you have an organized fridge? Or do you think I'm weird?

Embracing My Inner (Outer?) Domestic Dorkiness

Clearly it's time for me to get some high-powered executive type job (never mind that I can't even get a teaching job around here, surely I can get an executive position I'm not qualified for) and hire a cleaning lady. Or a cleaning man. Whatever- I'm not sexist. It's just that the whole stay-at-home mom writing/blogging gig is not so lucrative (though any tips/websites/suggestions/job offers on how to make it more so would be much appreciated) and I need an Alice (like on the Brady Bunch).

My chore options today (as opposed to all the regular cleaning/straightening stuff) were mopping the first floor or cleaning out the refrigerator. Since I LOATHE mopping and love organizing, I decided to clean out the fridge. Although, honestly, how does it get dirty in the first place? It's not like I let the children play in there. Anyway, I removed the contents and began scrubbing with my Target brand Clorox wipes. And somehow I slipped, banged my head on the produce drawer and made one of the shelves fall onto my head.

Yes, I injured myself while cleaning out the refrigerator.

Mommy the Maid

That's the title of some mom's blog, "Mommy the Maid." I've never read it and I don't know the writer, so I don't mention it to inspire anyone to read. I mention it because the title scares me. If I were my maid, I would fire me.

I know that keeping the house clean and the laundry done goes with the whole stay-at-home mommy territory, but it's just not my thing. I mean, the laundry's always done (and usually put away), the dishes are done, the toilets cleaned and the floor is swept. But that's about it. I don't dust very often and no one in their right mind would eat off of my floors. All the mirrors should be Windexed. There's a lot of clutter. And I don't think I've ever cleaned the windows.

I scrubbed out the refrigerator last week. I was very proud of this accomplishment until I saw that the milk had leaked. I bitched at Hot Guy about it and for some reason he took offense. All I could think was, "Oh my Goddess, I have to clean it again?" I like tasks that can be completed and set aside for a while. It's why I only do laundry two days a week and why toy pick up doesn't happen until right before bed. I get a certain satisfaction out of being DONE.

That's probably why I'm not good at those little lifestyle changes that make diets so successful. I've switched to olive oil spread and low fat mayonnaise and I can't understand why I haven't lost thirty pounds. But I digress. Maybe if I did all the maid type stuff I would lose thirty pounds, I don't know. In fact, I doubt I'll ever know - there's no way I'll ever be able to describe myself as "Mommy the Maid".