Hi! I'm Jerseygirl and . . .I'm a Lazy-aholic

I've never actually seen myself as lazy, you know. I've always just avoided things I don't like. Like running. And algebra homework. And vacuuming. . .well, you see what I mean. Only weird people like doing stuff like that, right? Doesn't mean I have a problem. Oh, and I like to maximize my efforts - like, my kids know it's much better to ask me for something when I'm already up than when I've just sat down to my morning bagel. Because I love my whole wheat bagels, okay? And because getting up and down 20 times really ruins a meal. Ask the French. They'll tell you.  Anyway, it doesn't mean I'm lazy. It just means I like to manage my time wisely. Like when I taught my students to grade their own papers so that I wouldn't have to spend my Sundays doing it.

But recently, my television remote control has caused me to re-evaluate my character.

I like to watch TV before going on to my other relaxation techniques. After I've gotten my fill of HGTV, Bravo, Comedy Central and E! (just for Chelsea Lately, I swear), I turn off the TV. Naturally, the relaxation benefits would be harmed if, say, I had to get up to turn off said TV. Which is what happened last night. And the night before.

I am pretty sure that since the batteries are new, the remote control itself is dying.

So all I have to do is call the cable company, right? I mean, we pay them almost as much as a car payment every month so I'm sure the least they can do is get me a new remote. Preferably a super-power remote that will never, ever wear out.

Because I DESPISE calling the cable company. In fact, I despise it so much that I didn't even do it today. Sure, putting things off could be considered laziness. But it's not like I sat around doing nothing today. Why, I took my kids for a walk! (as far as the 4 year old's legs would go) I mopped! (okay, the water was already on the floor) I did laundry! (well no, I haven't put it away yet) And I ruminated on the remote control problem. What I'm thinking about doing is seeing if I can get the downstairs remote control to work on the upstairs TV. So that I'll be able to turn off the TV without getting up and without calling the cable company.

It's the perfect solution. For a lazy person. Which it appears that I am. Damn.

Just One Touch and My Heartrate Increases

I like to call myself, "efficient", but in actuality some might call me, "lazy". I keep diaper changing gear in the living room so I don't have to run upstairs all the time (okay, this was also a safety thing back when I had a newborn and a one year old, but now that I only have one kid in diapers it's probably unnecessary). I pile things on the stairs so I can take them all up at once when I'm going up there anyway. I fold laundry while relaxing on my bed. When it's time for my kids to clean up their toys, I'm more likely to be supervising than carrying around the Lego tub.

And yet I can't bring myself to use the "One Touch" option on my microwave.

Seriously.

Every time I think about it this voice in my head says, have you become so freaking lazy that you have to touch one button instead of four to heat up your son's (frozen, storebought) quiche? Do you really not have the time to press four damn buttons?

And then I press the four damn buttons. I'm sure there are situations in life where a one button option could be lifesaving. But I'm also pretty sure that those situations do not involve microwaves. It takes less than five seconds to press the buttons - and to choose which button you need for the "One Touch" option. So it's not even a real time-saver (yeah, I checked. I'm a dork, okay?).

Maybe it's for people who don't know how to type in minutes and seconds? Or for people who have numerophobia?

Do you have the "One Touch" option on your microwave? Do you use it?