So the other day I watched an episode of The Secret Lives of Women. And while my usual stance is to be offended by WE TV and insulted by the fact that they think all women want to watch Bridezillas (whenever I watch Bridezillas I am always surprised that those women have ever found friends or dates, let alone long-suffering bridesmaids and husbands) and 48 Hours episodes about killer spouses. But The Secret Lives of Women is AWESOME. In a rubber-necker sort of way.
Anyway, this particular episode was about child brides. I suppose I was expecting something about poor girls in Arab countries forced to marry 40 year old cousins OR more about crazy polygamists (although there's a great Secret Lives episode about them already). But no. This was about random people in Kentucky and Nebraska who all thought it was a good idea to get "murried" before the age of 16. One couple was a little famous, as the groom served time for statutory rape...of his bride and the mother of his children.
With this particular couple, they started dating when she was 12 and he was19. They got married when she was 14 and pregnant with their first child.
While I think it was absolutely ridiculous for the prosecutor to go after a guy who was at least trying to take care his progeny and who wasn't a serial child molester and who had the bride's family's support, I still think it should be illegal for 19 year olds to date or have sexual interactions with 12 year olds.
I believe in legalizing drugs and prostitution. I believe that not only should gay couples be allowed to marry, but if 3 or 17 people want to marry each other in one big polyamorous family then that's okay too. I even think people have the right to drink raw milk. But I only believe all of those things for people who are legal adults.
If you can't vote or die for your country (and really, can we move those up to 21 or bring drinking down? Because I really think that if we can issue you an assault weapon, we should be able to trust you with a six pack) then you shouldn't be able to get married. Or have kids.
Yeah, that's right. I don't think people under 18 should get to keep their kids. I am not saying, by the way, that teenage parents can't be good parents. That's not the point. Some are great. But they sacrifice their own youth in doing that. We have strict laws about how many hours a day teenagers can work at Target, for example. You know what's a hell of a lot harder than working at Target? Raising a child.
I never thought I'd be the kind of person to want to take away someone else's choices, but motherhood seems to have brought out a latent conservative streak in me. I like to think that if girls under 18 knew they had to terminate their pregnancies or give their babies up for adoption, that the little families they dream about having with their boyfriends weren't an option, then there would be fewer teenage pregnancies.
But even if there weren't, I still believe marriage and parenthood belong on the "adults-only" list. They are more difficult than figuring out how to drink responsibly or to drive a car or to choose a president and they last longer than a tour of duty. How can we trust girls to make a smart decision about becoming a parent or about what's best for their baby when we won't even let them choose a state representative?
What do you think?
