When I saw the True Colors tour the other night, something Rosie O'Donnell said made me think. She mentioned that one of Trump's insults for her was that he wasn't attracted to her and would never sleep with her. Apparently, this was supposed to hurt her feelings.
Because we all know how much lesbians are into having men find them sexually attractive.
I started to wonder, as a straight woman, would this "insult" work on me? As a teenager, it definitely would have. I wanted everyone to think I was pretty and back then I equated sexual attraction with prettiness. So at 15, hearing someone say that he didn't want me or find me attractive would have been devastating.
But I'm thirty-five now (well, for a couple more weeks) and while I find it flattering when someone finds me attractive, it doesn't make or break my self-esteem. I think Donald Trump is ugly, so therefore I care a lot less about what he thinks. But I've heard many men use their lack of sexual interest in a woman as an insult.
On the one hand it is a kind of insult: a horny, drunk man will sleep with a log if the holes are in the right places. But on the other hand it's kind of ridiculous. Attraction is only partially based on looks and it is quite possible to find someone attractive but not think s/he's good looking (and vice versa). For example, I appreciate that Brad Pitt is good looking. But I would rather sleep with Axl Rose - I have this weird attraction to him. So whether a particular man wants to sleep with you has little bearing on your overall attractiveness level.
But Trump and his ilk continue to see us all as insecure tenth graders, more worried about men's opinions than about our own thoughts and feelings. And what really hurts me is that there are a LOT of adult women just like that. How sad.
