I Like The Idea of Plural Marriage

I want a sister-wife.

I've always wanted a sister and how great would it be to divide the household chores with somebody? I mean, she could do all the cleaning and I could do all the shopping, for example. And while I don't want to go through pregnancy and c-section again, it would be fun to have another baby around. As long as my sister-wife had a lot of money, because we can't really afford another child. Yeah, I think it would be best if my sister-wife was independently wealthy. And funny. I couldn't live with someone who wasn't funny.

Like those women on the Sister-Wives reality show? They seem nice and I'm they're all much better about cleaning than I am. But they're all so earnest - I don't think any one of them has a sense of the absurd. Which is what you often find with people who cling to old-fashioned religious notions like plural marriage. So clearly I"m not going to find my future sister-wife in that community. Especially since my desire for plural marriage has nothing to do with religious conviction and everything to do with getting out of scrubbing the floor.  And having someone to watch "The Real Housewives of Wherever" with. And getting to be around a new baby without doing any of the tough stuff. And an infusion of cash.

I'm not sure how Hot Guy would feel about this. It's possible that I should have talked to Hot Guy about this before sharing it on the internet, but what man wouldn't want 2 wives? That's twice as much sex! Plus you get 2 anniversaries, 2 birthdays and 2 honey-do lists. And surely with 2 women complaining about leaving socks on the floor it will be easier to stop, right?

I know that I'll have to overcome my jealousy like those women on the show. But I'll have it easier since I'll be choosing my own sister-wife - it's not going to be Hot Guy coming home and telling me that he "fell in love with" (you ever notice how the hyper-religious all say that after like 2 dates? but it's so obviously lust and they're just afraid to admit it?) some new woman that I'll just have to get used to. Obviously I will choose someone that I like a lot and that Hot Guy finds slightly attractive. Emphasis on the "slightly". Also, he can't show her affection in front of me. In fact, it would be best if he only went near her when I wasn't in the mood. I think that would cure the whole jealousy thing. For me.

So, does anyone know a slightly attractive, expert cleaner, rich, single woman with a great sense of humor who could spend the rest of her life being second best without going all Lifetime Movie crazy and killing me?

Yeah, it's a good thing I like my 'single marriage'.

Looking For Asexual Cleaning Whiz With Trust Fund

We watch Big Love on HBO. In case you've been living under a rock, Big Love is the story of a polygamist family. The idea of polygamy fascinates me. Not the sicko cults where the lecherous "prophet" uses the principle to sleep with young girls and exile young men but the people who seem normal and educated but practice polygamy.

I don't think that three (or more) consenting adults agreeing to marry is any more damaging to my marriage than whether two men or two women decide to marry. Every marriage is so different anyway, why is it that only obvious differences matter? Why is a emotionally and/or physically abusive marriage between a man and a woman less threatening to my marriage than two men who love and respect each other? Why is a marriage of two cheating members of the opposite sex better than three people who are faithful to each other?

That said, I can't help but think that a three or four or whatever person relationship would be totally weird. While it would be great have a third person around who loved to clean, I don't need to deal with another person's annoying habits. I've tried to imagine letting go of the sexual and romantic jealousy I'd feel about another woman in my house but even if I can manage to do that I can't stop thinking about all the ways people can get on my nerves. It's a miracle that I can live with Hot Guy, to find several other people that wouldn't drive me or him insane would definitely be a sign from the Goddess.

Maybe those polygamists ARE onto something. Or on something. I'm still not sure. Anyone got any insights? I'm sure it's too much to hope for an actual polygamist to be reading, but if so, please get in touch!