Being A Theater Mom Is Better Than Being A Sports Mom

My oldest kid is only 9, so I'm not claiming to be an expert dance mom, swim mom, soccer mom, basketball mom, baseball mom OR theater mom. But I have actually been all of those things - in the last year, even.  Lovebug hasn't fully decided which sport(s) he will play at the travel level next year (we have a no travel until third grade rule), so my only experience of a serious "Mom" commitment is dance.

But I already know this; I like being a dance mom and and a swim mom more than the others. 

We have never pushed our kids into any activities. We've always been, "Oh, this is happening, do you want to try it?" Ironflower has always wanted to try EVERYTHING; we've actually had to turn down a few things (like ice-skating and horseback riding) just so she could have free time. . . .and we could eat. 

Anyway, we're so not pushy, but we try to be supportive. Which means going to a lot of games and performances. And I'll be honest with you, watching my kids play soccer, basketball and baseball reminds me of being pregnant. 

I was happy to be pregnant and my pregnancies were all relatively smooth. But as happy as I was? I was filled with anxiety all the time. I couldn't see what was going on in there, let alone control it. Or predict what would happen when. And eventually I became horribly uncomfortable and couldn't sleep. 

I haven't gotten to the no sleeping point with sports yet, but I bet it happens if Lovebug plays travel basketball next year. Much as I love to watch my kids play sports, it fills me with a terrible anxiety. Maybe if I'd had some athletic gifts to pass on to them, I'd be able to handle it better, I don't know. 

Of course, I never swam competitively (or danced competitively, though I did dance) and I don't get the same anxiety while watching them.  I think it's mostly because the actions are already planned out - do the dance you've been practicing for months, do the stroke you've been practicing for years. Even if you don't win, you can feel like you've done well. Mistakes tend to be minor. Whereas a mistake during baseball can mean a concussion. Or the team being mad at you. Or a large bruise. Or losing the entire game. Or. . . .I don't think this list is helping my anxiety.

I like watching practice best. 

But even better than swim and dance is theater.

And not just because I was a theater geek in school. When they're in a play, they know EXACTLY what to expect and EXACTLY what they're supposed to do. They're not going to strike out or get hit in the face with a soccer ball or mess up a lift and split their chin open or miss the winning basket or slip during competition, all of which has happened to my kids. In the last year.

You know what happened during Theater Week this year? Some kid said one of Ironflower's lines during one performance. That's my kind of trauma.

So when I say "better", I'm not making judgments on your kids' activities or which activities require the most parent devotion or which ones have the best behaved parents. I'm saying that being a theater parent is much better for my emotional health than any of their other activities.

Which probably guarantees that my kids will get really into wrestling next year.

How do you feel when your kids perform and/or compete? Do you have a preference?

Wandering Wednesday: The Soccer Field

Yeah, I don't know how much more wandering there's going to be for the foreseeable future - it's soccer season. Frankly, I was surprised when Ironflower and Lovebug wanted to play soccer again - their play was rather lackluster last year. And while, occasionally, they will play a soccer-like game in the front yard, they've never been especially enthusiastic. Or talented. Or unafraid of the ball. Frankly, I figured we'd just be going to Hugmonkey's games this year, since he's been dying to play ever since he started getting dragged to games as a toddler. 

But no. I have three kids playing soccer this fall. 

As you can see by my trunk. It sort of looks like we're going on a road trip, doesn't it? 

A road trip to soccer-parent land. 

Now that Ironflower is in third grade, even the rec team is more serious. We play teams from other towns and have separate practices and full uniforms. 

I don't know whether it was the uniform or what, but suddenly Ironflower was motivated and focused and totally into it. She started in goal and made 3 saves in her first game. 

The second game did not go as well, but it was our first "away" game - all the way in the next town. And those girls from the other town were really, really good. The next day at Hugmonkey's game a mom told me about her older son's tournament that day - three hours away in New York State. If any of our kids get that into soccer, I'll be very glad to have my Kia to haul us and our gear to hither and yon. 

I totally failed at taking pictures of Lovebug's first practice of the year, mostly because it was early in the morning and I was chitchatting to stay awake. So I made up for it at the game this weekend.

Lovebug is in gray. Somewhere. 

Have I mentioned lately that I'm not a sports photographer? 

An actual shot! He had just thrown the ball in. He was much more focused and willing to go after the ball this year, but he was still more comfortable playing defense. 

During a break. 

This is what Hugmonkey did during his brother's game. He was exhausted after his own. Ironflower met up with some slightly older girls and explored the woods with them. We didn't really see her during Lovebug's game this week. Thank goodness it's not too hard to vacuum the Kia out. 

After waiting years to play soccer, Hugmonkey burst into tears when it was time for him to go to his initial game. He cried all the way onto the field and probably would have not participated if one of his classmates wasn't on the other team. Between his buddy and his buddy's nice dad, he managed to get over the tears and remember that he wanted to play. 

Both the boys also volunteered to play goalie in both of their games (I can't decide if my kids love to play goalie because they hate chasing after the ball or because they like breaking the soccer rules and touching the balls with their hands. They are so my kids.) as well. 

This week Hugmonkey was much more enthusiastic. 

He reported all the action during every water break. We didn't even need to watch to know what was going on. 

Hot Guy and Ironflower chilling out during Hugmonkey's game. 

This is how we're going to spend every weekend until the middle of November. Thank goodness the Kia is big enough for me to leave the chairs, balls, water, blanket and snacks in there; I'd be freaking out every weekend from now until November if I had to remember all that stuff for each game. 

This post is sponsored by Kia.

A Question About CyberSex

The other night my mother very graciously agreed to baby-sit so that I could go see Hot Guy in a play reading. The reading was for a playwright's competition and Hot Guy is a friend of the author. I'd been dying to see (this was the second or third reading that Hot Guy's done for it) this play, as it's about soccer moms in our area. And how one of them totally loses it.

I really enjoyed the play. It was funny and absurdist, but the characters rang very true. My kind of thing. Afterward, there was a question and answer session with the audience. And two - self-professed former soccer moms - women complained about a scene in the play. In the scene, the main character has a monologue where she talks about having cybersex. By this point, it's clear that the character is already losing it and feeling abandoned by her husband. The monologue is not graphic at all and at the end she even talks about wanting to wash her hands because they feel dirty. But these women felt that it was "out of character" for such a devoted mom. (Side note: One of the women also complained about the swearing in the play. Let me tell you, this was no Quentin Tarantino type dialog. The only swearing was when a few of the characters were very, very pissed off. It totally fit.)

I was appalled by these audience members and their attitude. I didn't say anything, though. Mainly because I it would be a bit unseemly for a hugely pregnant woman to start arguing the side of cybersex. And a guy who works with my parents was there. And I feared getting the audience discussion off track from the play, because I'm a huge fan of digression.

But since I didn't say anything that night, I have to say it now. I don't think being a good mom and being curious about cybersex are mutually exclusive. Most people I know have tried cybersex. Most of them tried it long before they became parents, but I don't think the character's trying it is so weird. In the play, she is feeling isolated and that she's lost her sense of self. She feels powerless and alienated from her husband. She has nothing beyond being a parent. It is late at night, her chores are done, her children are asleep and her husband isn't home. Curiosity gets the better of her.

Do you guys think that's so shocking?

Or am I just being defensive because I'm pretty sure I too would go over the edge if I didn't spend too much time blogging and reading?