Throwback Thursday: Poor Lindsay Lohan

I wrote this in June, 2007. Nearly 5 years later, not much has changed in Lindsay's life. Except she works a lot less. Maybe this latest trip to rehab will help.  I don't feel as sorry for as I used to, what with all the things she's stolen and worse behaviors. I still think her problem goes way beyond alcohol, though. 

Shameless, Drunken Hussy

I feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan. I realize that she's young, rich, pretty and talented and that there are plenty of people in the world who deserve my sympathy than she does. But I have enough to go around and I think Lindsay needs it too.

She's back in rehab now, and I hope that helps. But to tell you the truth, I'm not sure if alcohol is really her problem. When I was 21 I went out six nights a week (ahh, how I miss college). No one thought I was weird or wild - I still went to class, volunteered with my theater group and baby-sat. But I also used my newfound independence to dress in a more revealing way, to see how many shots I could do in one sitting (11) and to try to figure out who the heck I really was. I am SO glad no one caught it on video.

I'm also glad that the tabloids missed the chance to use the headline, "Elementary School Teachers Perform 'Baby Got Back' While Standing on Local Bar". And no one ever reported, "Teacher Steps on Broken Glass, Keeps Dancing - Gets Seven Stitches and Antibiotics At ER Next Day". There were no flashbulbs popping the time an intoxicated gentleman I was dancing with dipped me - and dropped me, (Stockbroker Dumps Teacher in Public?) either. For which I am grateful.

If I had been a starlet, the tabloids would have LOVED me. But fortunately I am not famous and when I do something stupid I have only my friends and acquaintances to laugh at me. Except for when the stockbroker dropped me - my partner in crime at the time was outside kissing the stockbroker's friend. It was actually worse having no friends to laugh with me. Lindsay is just a kid with lousy parents, a big bank account and probably no one who actually laughs with her. I can only hope all those reporters and pundits making a living off of her have never tried drugs, caused a car accident, passed out from alcohol or partied a lot. Otherwise their hypocrisy would nauseate me.

Some Thoughts on Jessica Simpson

If I see one more headline talking about Jessica Simpson being pregnant again "just" seven months after giving birth, I'm going to smack someone.

I'm sure somewhere in my archives is the story of how I got pregnant "just" six months after having Ironflower, but I'm too ticked off to look for it. So let me summarize: I got pregnant with Lovebug six months after I had Ironflower and didn't even realize it for five months. My periods had been totally erratic, I had no morning sickness and I figured exhaustion was normal for a working mom of a baby. Even the fact that I suddenly stopped losing baby weight - and in fact started gaining it - I blamed on my stressful work environment and exhaustion.

Anyway, I'm having a "Leave Britney alone!" moment. Well, without the crying. Or the vlogging.

Use this picture of an unknowingly pregnant me to humanize my rant. I'm so not vlogging. 

Leave Jessica alone, for the love of God! She doesn't need to be reminded of how quickly she got pregnant again, or how she'll soon have to handle two kids under two. She's in the process of dealing with a lot of emotions right now and pointing it out on magazine covers isn't helping. You don't get all judgey when someone has twins through IVF or uses a surrogate or has kids 15 years apart or whatever else is different from the norm. Why this? Stop trying to turn her into Octomom. 

Ahem. 

The tabloid reader* in me also does not care to hear about Jessica's pregnancy. Much as I feel for her right now, I don't find her interesting. She's preggers again. Okay. Let's move on to something more interesting, like which Downton Abbey actors hang out together in real life. Or how many Tea Party politicians are cheating on their spouses right this minute. 

On a final note, my 15 months apart kids? Are the best of friends. It was hard on me, but it's been a blessing for them. 

*I do not actually purchase tabloids. But I would if they took some of my ideas to heart. 

Shameless, Drunken Hussy

I feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan. I realize that she's young, rich, pretty and talented and that there are plenty of people in the world who deserve my sympathy more than she does. But I have enough to go around and I think Lindsay needs it too.

She's back in rehab now, and I hope that helps. But to tell you the truth, I'm not sure if alcohol is really her problem. When I was 21 I went out six nights a week (ahh, how I miss college). No one thought I was weird or wild - I still went to class, volunteered with my theater group and baby-sat. But I also used my newfound independence to dress in a more revealing way, to see how many shots I could do in one sitting (11) and to try to figure out who the heck I really was. I am SO glad no one caught it on video.

I'm also glad that the tabloids missed the chance to use the headline, "Elementary School Teachers Perform "Baby Got Back" While Standing on Local Bar". And no one ever reported, "Teacher Steps on Broken Glass, Keeps Dancing - Seven Stitches and Antibiotics At ER Next Day". There were no flashbulbs popping the time an intoxicated gentleman I was dancing with dipped me - and dropped me, (Stockbroker Dumps Teacher in Public?) either. For which I am grateful.

If I had been a starlet, the tabloids would have LOVED me. But fortunately I am not famous and when I do something stupid I have only my friends and acquaintances to laugh at me. Lindsay is just a kid with lousy parents and a big bank account. I can only hope all those reporters and pundits making a living off of her have never tried drugs, been in a car accident, passed out from alcohol or partied a lot. Otherwise their hypocrisy would nauseate me.