Behind the Scenes As An Actual Dance Mom

On Saturday, we attended our second dance competition. This is what it was like.

5:30am : My alarm goes off because I'm still under the impression that we have to be there at 7:30.
Really need to get better at checking email at night.

5:45am: Ironflower's alarm goes off and she starts getting dressed in her tights, warm up suit and t-shirt that we laid out the night before. I am still slathering on make-up so that I don't frighten anyone.

6:00am: Realize that we don't have to be there until 8:00am. Finish checking email.

6:15am: Do Ironflower's first hairdo. We have been prepping for smoother hair (Ironflower's lovely waves are very hard to tame into competition hair) for several days so the process isn't that painful. Make sure we have everything and hug the always early-to-rise boys.

6:55am: Stop at Dunkin Donuts. Feel like a pageant mom as I ply my child with sugar and myself with caffeine.
7:15am: Drive to random middle school where competition is being held.
7:48am: Arrive at competition site and try to ascertain which door will be open so as to choose best parking spot. Fail miserably.
8:00am: Discover we are sharing room with 5 other schools, all of whom glare at us. They refuse to move even a bit to give us room - we're crowded into a corner and only 4 of us have arrived. This is totally unlike the last competition where people from other schools were nice and friendly. One of our owners fixes this promptly and we soon have our own small room.
8:20am: Discover that I will have to do all of Ironflower's make-up this time. Try not to
              hyperventilate.
8:30am: Another mom does eyeliner for me as I can't even put eyeliner on myself. Lovely make-up
              ladies put on rhinestones for us before they have to run to other jobs.
9:00am:

9:05am: Girls go to the backstage holding area, moms go in to watch. I sit with my mom. Am so relieved that music is not as horribly loud as last competition.
9:17am: First group from our school goes. I tear up a little while screaming loudly. As one does.
9:20am - 9:40am: Other groups go. Am generally not impressed. Try not to turn into competitive dance mom. Fail miserably.
9:42am: Ironflower and her team go. I tear up a lot while screaming like a banshee. They look
              even better than they did last time. They have improved so much.
9:50am: Meet up with girls in hallway and congratulate them. Take their team picture in front of
               competition back drop. Ironflower manages to convince her Grammy that she needs a
               competition teddy bear.
10:00am: Cannot believe it is only 10am. Our next dance isn't for a while, so girls settle in to watch a movie and color. I cannot convince Ironflower to eat, but my body thinks it's lunchtime.
10:40am: Hear report that man outside is ranting about some dance teacher insulting his daughter and/or her school. There is alleged foot stomping. Am so tempted to go check out real life Dance Moms moment, but manage to restrain myself. Hang with my mom for a bit before she heads home.
11:00am: We are not due to go on again until 1:15, but we hear it will probably be sooner. Everyone starts getting ready for the production number. There are 20 girls, 12 of whom need red glitter on their lips, 6 of whom also need their rhinestones. It is hectic.
11:05am: Attack Ironflower's hair to tame it into bun. Begin to sweat.
11:45am: A veteran mom does eyeshadow and one of our fearless leaders does lip glitter, but I do
manage to trace over Ironflower's eyeliner. Feel oddly proud.

12:00pm: Girls assemble in hallway to head backstage. Love how the older girls are assigned younger
girls to keep an eye on. These older girls? Are wonderful. A bunch showed up early to cheer the younger ones on and they are just so great with them. Already getting teary again. PMS and dance competitions not a good combo for my mascara.
Sometime before 1pm: Our production number goes on and I have never, ever, ever seen them light
up the stage like this. They have the people screaming for them who aren't even from our school, which basically never happens.
1pmish: Take picture of girls by convention backdrop and praise them. Then quickly change Ironflower into warm up suit without ruining her hair (they all wanted to leave their hairdos
in so people could recognize them) and make sure I collect all costume pieces and whatnot. Run everything to the car so we can leave when awards are done.
1:15pm: Awards - 45 minutes early! Last time I was seated in front of a woman who had an AIR  HORN. This time I make sure there is no one behind me. I try to explain the points and the levels and the overalls to one of the girls' aunts, but I barely understand it myself. And it changes from competition to competition.

The other group from our school scores very well and comes in first in their division. Ironflower's group scores pretty well, but there are no overalls for their division so we have no idea how they placed. The production number gets a very high score, but no trophy or overall high score.

2:00pm: I can tell, as soon as I see Ironflower, that she is upset. She doesn't understand why the production didn't get a trophy, why her small group didn't get to hear how they placed. I don't really get it all either, but I do remind her that she's doing this to become a better dancer and be on a team, not to get trophies. And I say I've never seen her dance better, that all the groups were amazing and should be so proud.

ETA: It turns out that the production number did get a trophy for overall junior production, it     was just presented on Sunday and we couldn't get there on Sunday.

2:30pm: We leave the competition and I feel exhausted. Ironflower has become philosophical about the award situation and has reminded me that they can't give all the awards to one school, as then the other schools would just give up and stop coming to that competition. I don't know if this is actually true, but it sounds plausible.

I love this time with my daughter, to be honest. But I am bummed I missed Hugmonkey's first kickball game and Lovebug's first slide into first base. Luckily next weekend is just about being a baseball/kickball mom.
                     

Dance Moms: Not As Outrageous As I Thought

On Saturday, I attended a dance convention. Well, technically, Ironflower attended and I hung around. It was nothing like the one other non-recital dance event I'd been to, a competition in the midwest 15 years ago where I watched a (favorite, I have to admit) former student compete. Ironflower and her teammates were there to take classes and observe some of the competition, which was completely different from what my previous experience and Dance Moms viewing led me to expect. I had expected all competition all the time. But that was about the only thing Dance Moms was wrong about.

Attire: See how my child is dressed? I admit to being a little taken aback when her dance teacher stressed that they not wear midriff-baring tops or dance shorts without tights, as I figured they just did that on Dance Moms to be more wild for TV. Hah. Things I saw on children under 10 who were there for classes, not competing and not appearing on reality television:

• Full stage make-up
• Ruffled booty shorts
• Bra tops that I wouldn't even let my kid where to the beach
• Neon yellow and green tutu with matching bra top and large headpiece
• 4 year olds in lip gloss
• Teeny tiny shorts with no tights or leotards underneath
• Spray tans
• Zebra print and pink ruffles
• One of the moms I was with compared it to Toddlers and Tiaras. She was totally right. 

Ironflower was just thrilled with her new leotard because it was bright blue, not navy or black like she's always had to wear for class. I now understand that not every dance school has a dress code. Or taste.

Kid Behavior: The kids on Dance Moms always seem to be sweet and well-behaved, despite how their dance teacher terrorizes them. Our girls were wonderful yesterday; attentive and polite and able to follow directions. This was true for most of the kids I saw, but not all of them.

• One girl entered the dance room removing her sweatshirt and sweatpants. As she took them off, she scattered them onto the floor. Her mother, trailing behind, picked them up and put them away for her. 
• Another little girl was allowed to have gum. Which she proceeded to pull out and play with. And drop on the floor. And place back in her mouth. I have no idea where her parent and/or teacher was. 
• Several of the girls only participated when the master teacher was watching them. Otherwise they didn't try at all. I have no idea where their parents/teachers were either. 
• Then there was the older group so determined to show off in the lobby that they managed to kick several passer-by. Without apologizing. 

Parent Behavior: I did not see any adults coming to blows, or having screaming matches, like they do on the show. The only thing our group did - that made me think a little of Dance Moms - was complain about some of the other people there. But they deserved it.

• It was super crowded in the hallways. It was impossible not to bump into people. But apparently apologizing for the bumps was not only beyond many of the parents, they actually glared when you apologized. 
• Speaking of crowded, they requested that no strollers go into the main ballroom where the stage was. Most parents parked theirs outside the room, but not one guy. He pushed his (empty) DOUBLE stroller in and blocked an aisle with it. 
• A lot of parents seemed very invested in having their small children wear make up and wear outfits better suited for 20 year olds. I even heard one child asking her mom if she could wear her leotard instead and the mom insisted she stay in her little bra top. WTF? 
• But behavior that most made me think of the Dance Moms was the way some of the parents acted after each dance class. Ironflower's group was in a beginner program called Jumpstart, because they had never been to a convention before. Their classes were taught by talented but not world famous dancers, who would have no way to remember them for the competition the following year. And yet there were parents pushing their kids to stand so far in front they were in the teachers' way, and parents who insisted on photographing their kids with the teachers. 

After her classes were done, Ironflower and the other Jumpstarts got to perform on stage. I tried to record and take pictures (which I only got away with because it wasn't part of the official competition), but it didn't work out very well:

See Ironflower? She's the dot of blue in the back. 

I think her torso is the speck of blue in front of the Jump sign. 

It might have been slightly better if my child had not insisted on being in the back every time. Even during the classes. The only time she stood in front was when her  dance teacher her told her to. Which was a shame, because she did in amazing job - she would have been a great example for many of the younger girls. Some of whom clearly needed it.

But I totally fear turning into a Dance Mom, so I didn't say anything about that. I just told her how much I enjoyed watching her. Which I did. And I'm going to pretend that I don't care that the master ballet teacher really didn't pay any attention to her, even though she was doing really well.

Finding out that Dance Moms doesn't really exaggerate the competitive dance world as much as I would have thought (though, for the record, Ironflower's school is filled with sane parents and caring teachers and no pyramids) is frightening enough. The fact that I might have tendencies in that direction is terrifying.