7/24/2009

The Idiot Theory of Relationships

I used to watch Jon and Kate Plus 8. The kids liked it - and I didn't have to worry about what they were learning from it, unlike their other favorite adult shows, Family Guy and Robot Chicken. Anyhow, if one more person blames Kate's bitchiness for the dissolution of that marriage I'm going to break something. You know what makes a woman bitchy? Being married to an idiot.

Now, let's take my own marriage. There are times, like when Hot Guy cannot find the children's bathing suits -located in their dresser drawers - that I get a bitchy attitude. But then there are times when I cannot make the iron work without his intervention. (Which is why I don't iron anymore. But I digress.) And then, well, Hot Guy doesn't, of course, because he's flawless and all, but OTHER husbands might get an attitude over my iron incompetence. Or about the time I backed into the garage door with our new car.

Anyway, my point is that in any given marriage at any given time, someone's is acting like the idiot. As long as idiot duty hovers around 50-50, things will be okay. But Jon Gosselin never quit being the idiot. He never seemed to know what was going on, never stood up for himself, never discussed things, never took responsibility. And always having to be the smart one will stress a person out. Which might turn them into a bitch. Hence, Kate Gosselin.

Maybe she is a bitch. . . but being married to an idiot and having EIGHT kids might make you bitchy too. Maybe she is obsessed with money.. .but she has EIGHT kids, she really doesn't have a choice but to be obsessed with money. Maybe she's changed her look since she first got on TV. . .but hello, this America where everyone wants to look 20 forever. Is she really any worse than anyone else? Really?

And finally, let's look at what's happened with them since the divorce. Jon is dating a college dropout who parties hard and badmouths the mother of his children while also staying at MICHAEL LOHAN'S house with a tabloid reporter who claims they are dating. Oh, and maybe he's going to design clothes for some designer most of us hadn't heard of until this plan. Can someone say idiot?

I could totally be a marriage counselor, don't you think?

4 comments:

a.larson said...

As not a regular view of the show, frankly haven't ever seen it, I'm surprised by the overall public reaction to this relationship split. I mean really did anyone who has survived the toddler hood of a single or couple children really expect them to survive the early years of six kids at once? I'm not insight, I'm just thinking about the immense stress they were under let alone a TV show. I don't think either personality has shown its best side.

But I do have an issue with guys that date young crazy things.

Liz said...

Um..... you are freaking hilarious!

Karly said...

This is genius. You should TOTALLY be a marriage counselor!

yvette said...

Hands down, this is the most coherent, logical explanation of why that marriage dissolved that I have read anywhere. You are absolutely right!