Are You Experienced?

Just now I was messing about on The Twitter when I heard Hugmonkey scream and then cry. I glanced down the hall to see him sprawled on the ground in the living room. "You okay, buddy?" I called. He ran to me for a hug, then ran off to destroy something. I have no idea what happened. And it occurred to me that that whole scenario never would have happened when Ironflower was 2. When Ironflower was 2, we were either in the same room or she was in her crib. When Lovebug was 2, he may have been in another room but I would have quizzed Ironflower on what happened while I scooped him up. Now I wait for the piercing scream before I go running. 

I am now an experienced mother. 

You too are an experienced parent if. . . 

1. You don't jump every time someone cries,

2. The 5 second rule sometimes stretches into the 10 second rule, or even the oh-well-he-already-put-it-back-in-his-mouth rule. 

3. You keep toys, food and extra clothes in your bag and/or your car. Because you learned your lesson when you had to wrap your child in your sweater after a poopslosion, or you had to buy overpriced snack food somewhere after a meltdown or you ever tried to eat out with your children.

4. Your child has uttered a swear word she learned from you.

5. You realize that your children's sleeping habits and temperaments have more to do with luck than with your parenting skill.

6. You have done at least 3 things you swore you'd never do as a parent.

7. The sound of Dora's voice makes your skin crawl, but you've still let her baby-sit your child while you take a damn shower.

8. You have dawdled on your solo trip to the grocery store because you know to take your "me" time when you can get it. 

What do you think makes an experienced parent?