This Post May Only Make Sense In My Head

So I'm a bit depressed, which always translates into me writing crap that I delete. Or staring at Twitter until I think it's a good idea to join the #WEAREYELLINGABOUTSOAP Twitter party. Yeah, Backpacking Dad, I'm looking at you.

Anyway, one advantage to staring at Twitter and Facebook instead of being productive is that I find new posts to read. Not that I don't already have approximately a million posts to read in my Google Reader. But opening my reader makes me feel guilty and who needs that when she's already depressed? Exactly. But when I see posts somewhere else, in between tweets about soap, for example, then I can read without feeling guilty about the other 999,999 posts I'm not reading.

So I read this post by Aunt Becky. And it ticked me off, because I love some Aunt Becky and I hate nasty comments. If you want to pick on other people, write your own damn blog. Also, don't hate on Aunt Becky. Angie at A Whole Lot of Nothing then wrote a brilliant post about it. So, you know, what she said. I try to be funny and/or positive when I leave comments on blogs, because to me that's the whole point of leaving a comment.

But anyway, then I read Perez Hilton. And while I do like the fact that Perez writes his bitchy comments on his own damn blog instead of just making nasty comments on other people's, you can't deny that he can be mean as hell. And sure, he's usually being mean as hell about some celebrity who has gobs of money and has chased fame in some way and is not a blogger slaving away who probably does not have gobs of money (and if s/he does, it's probably not from blogging). But.

It's the same sort of thing, isn't it? Despite all that plastic surgery and money, celebrities are actual people. And would I actually say any of the mean things I have said about various celebrities to their faces? No. *

I used to work with this amazing woman, N. She was just the kindest person you ever met. She saw the best in everyone and had love for the most challenging kids. When she died way too freaking young, the church was filled with people whose lives she had made better. And I swore to myself that I would try harder to look for the good in people, to keep her kindness going.  She would want you to know that she once told me to start with myself.

But suddenly I had a 15 month old and a newborn and an imploding school and then we moved back to NJ and all sorts of old demons came back to haunt me. So I kinda forgot. But for whatever reason, reading those posts and thinking about what it must be like to be in any way famous and reading nasty comments about yourself. . .well, I kinda remembered.

So I am going to try harder to look for the good in people. But if I can't find it** , then all bets are off.





*Except for Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman.
**See names above. And the Westboro Baptist Church.