I'm Failing at Being Non-Judgmental

So I read this post about sharing.

I refrained from commenting on it, because I think it's rude to leave comments like, "You're raising your kid to be an asshole." But, um, obviously, I have a problem with this lady's parenting in this instance.

To recap for those of you too lazy to click the link (and those of you too tired to remember what it said); this mom never forces her kid to share - whether it's his toy or a communal toy. She thinks that always giving in to what another kid wants makes the other kid selfish and spoiled. But not hers.

Did I mention that she has one kid, who's still in preschool? I mean, she never has to worry about sharing when she's also trying to cook dinner or answer email or whatever.

I have never had a specific policy on sharing. My general policy on parenting is, "Don't raise assholes." Like, if my kid brings his own toy to the park, no, he doesn't have to share it. Especially with some random kid who wants it. I think it's asshole-ish to demand things that belong to total strangers, so if my kids want something someone else has, too bad.

The inner tube gets shared a lot at the pool. But only with friends, ever since the day we lent a kickboard to seemingly nice kid we'd just met and it never came back. 


When the toys are community property, I make my kids share. The mom in the original post shares how her son loves to ride this one toy at the rec center, so he'll often stay on it for the entire hour and a half play time - even if other kids want it. I think that's asshole behavior. It's not his toy, it belongs to all the kids there. So they should all get a turn. Period. Her son's needs don't get to supersede everyone eles's just because he got to the toy first.

I wonder about these people.

I wonder if they're the people who linger over coffee at restaurants while people are waiting for the table. I wonder if they're the people who take up two parking spots because there were two available when they got to the mall stupid early. I wonder if they're the people who take the cool (supposedly communal) sand toys home from the community sand box just because their kids like them. I wonder if they're the people who go under the speed limit in the left passing lane. I wonder if they're the people who don't pull all the way up in the car pool lane, so that everyone else has to wait while their kid walks ten fewer feet to the school door. I wonder if they're the people who think being first means they are more important than everyone else.

I'm not saying they are, of course. I'm not saying that this kid will be. I'm not judging. . .exactly. I'm just. . .questioning. Yeah, that's it. I'm questioning.

How do you all handle sharing?

No comments: