3/13/2014

Good Enough Mom: Birthday Party Survival Guide

Every year our kids get a choice between having a special day out with mom and dad or having a birthday party. I love our special days out. The birthday parties. . . .not so much. I mean, I love making my kid happy and seeing him/her have fun with friends, but that's about it. No one is going to be pinning my Minecraft desserts or clever American Girl decorations on Pinterest, mainly because I have no idea how to make those things actually happen.

I suspect I'm not alone in this; despite what I see in parenting magazines and on Pinterest, most moms I know don't host thematic birthday parties with handmade decorations, healthy homemade snacks and parent supervised games. If you are one of those moms, you can stop reading and go write a business plan for the kids' party business that you should start immediately.

If you are not one of those moms, read on:

Planning your kid's birthday party.


Prior to the party:

  • Find a venue. The easiest way to handle this is to ask your kid where s/he wants the party and use that one. Unless your kid wants it at your house. Then ask for his/her second choice, because unless your house is huge and has a big yard (and good weather at party time), you'll regret it.  If budget is a concern, look for a smaller local business rather than  a chain of bouncy places. Video game stores, candy stores, cooking schools, karate schools, dance schools, movie theaters and sports places can all be fun places to have parties. If it's winter, pick a place where kids can run around a bit. In the spring and summer, a local playground can work, especially if you pay a couple of energetic teenagers to play with the kids. 
  • Use Evite. It will keep track of responses and allow you to send out reminders. Plus you can personalize the invitation (for free) in about 5 minutes. No stress, no organization and no need for stamps. 
  • Nail down the details. Ideally, the venue can provide the food, paper goods and goody bags. If not, drag the birthday kid to the party supply store and let him/her pick out the paper goods and the goody bag stuff. Then, organize it together once you get home - at least the day before the actual party. As for food, order pizza and a cake and worry no more. 
At the party:

  • Arrive early. Especially if you have to bring goody bags or cake, you'll want to arrive 10 minutes early so you can be all set up before guests start arriving. 
  • Greet each kid by name. I substitute taught for a while and I quickly discovered that kids behave better if you know their names. If that means the birthday kid has to whisper each classmate's name into your ear as they arrive, so be it. 
  • Set the parents free. Once kids are in kindergarten, they don't all need their parents hovering over them at the party. Plus, if all the parents are there, you'll have to make small talk with them. And chances are you'll have more kids misbehaving if mom or dad is there. Weird, but true. 
  • Manage, don't hover. If you've picked a place that's used to having kids' birthday parties, you probably won't even need to manage. Let the party helpers encourage the shy kids and keep kids behaving appropriately. But if some guest is very unhappy, or very inappropriate, feel free to intervene. 
After the party:
  • Record who gifts are from. If your kid is out of preschool, s/he can write thank you notes. Or thank you emails. Your job is just to make a list that s/he can use. 
  • Have a drink. Being around a group of over-excited children is exhausting; I was less tired teaching a class of 25 first graders for an entire day than I am after one of my kids' birthday parties. 





31 comments:

Simple Mama At Home said...

We have not yet had a birthday party to host as my eldest is still under two. I really like the idea of having a day out with mom and dad instead. Looks like I have alot to look forward to :)

Emily said...

I have convinced my older toe not to have a party this year but ypmy little guy is still requesting one (his bday has passed). We are doing a spring break trip instead. But I have learned to take a picture of each child with the birthday kid. Then I have individual photo cards done at Walmart, all saying the same thank you. Then I don't have to worry about what gift they got from that kid. The thank you can be cut off the bottom and the party guest has a pictur of them together to keep.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the tips. Birthday Party planning is hard especially when so much pressure is put on you to make it perfect.

ProbablyCrafting said...

I would love to be one of those moms and around birthday time I start planning these amazing birthday parties... in my head... but they have yet to materialize. things rush by so fast. I plan on trying to become better prepared.

Unknown said...

We were the same way.. we gave them a choice of a party or hanging out with a few friends and going to dinner. The parties became harder and harder to plan.

Kari Ann said...

Great post! Love that last one :-)

Adrienne said...

Planning a child's party can be overwhelming. Thanks for the tips!

mystylespot said...

Loved reading these tips! Will def be using them for the next party!

krystal said...

Electronic invites are the way to go!

Unknown said...

I am one of those moms! I did continue reading though and learned some great tips!

Michelle F.

Amber Nelson said...

I am definitely one of those moms too. No Shame!

TerinAleah said...

These are great tips!! I think I'm taking the easy route this year for my son's birthday, although he's quite upset he's not having a cool Minecraft party like his friend did. I just don't have the energy. lol

Lisa said...

Thank You For The Awesome Tips!

Lisa said...

Thank You For The Awesome Tips!

Gluten Free for Jen said...

These are some great tips! I am like you, I have done the "theme" parties but I buy the invites, decorations ect so no creativity here! Although after my daughter's last party I am officially DONE with them!

Christine Carpenter said...

I think I am somewhere in between that pinterest mom, and the anti- party person. I always have great ideas, and then end up settling :) I love your no stress guide here :)

Lisa said...

Thanks For The Great Tips

Jeanna said...

I am just in the process of planning my sons 8th bday party. The most i do on my own is the cake and the goodie bags. Doing it outside of the house is so so much easier!

Unknown said...

Great survival guide! My daughter's birthday is in June, so I have a few months to prepare.

KathleenKL said...

I think you have some great advice in your in your post, my favorite was what to do after the party-have a drink--and hopefully a laugh!! LOL

mail4rosey said...

These are all good tips. I love the arrive ten minutes early one. I think it's almost always a great idea to show up a bit early most anywhere you go! :)

Marysa said...

These are great tips! We used to always have parties at home, and now that the kids are older - I'm over it!

I also walk my kids through the party 'timeline' and how they need to behave. My girls are good, but I want to reinforce stuff like if they get what they think is an 'awful' gift, they throw on a smile and say thank you, because how would they feel..

Also that they can't get crazy! We are having a party at a bowling alley and I won't tolerate the kids running around!

Mama to 5 said...

party planning can be so stressful, these are great tips!

Unknown said...

We only do parties for some birthdays, like 5, 10, 13 and then once we get past 13 we will look into it. Otherwise we do a date night out with just that child, kinda like you mentioned. Great read.

Petro Neagu said...

Those are great tips. We don't host parties just yet but I see one in the near future. To be honest I hate having one at home so I will definitely consider a venue.

Jenna Em said...

I have five...count 'em...5 child birthday parties to arrange for our 5 kids! Birthday party season is fast and furious for us, and I'm always in awe when we make it through in one piece!

Bibiana Bailey said...

Great tips! I love planning birthday parties & seeing how excited the kids are, but I just don't like the cleaning after,lol

Sheila said...

Great tips and ideas. I don't like party and hosting one. My daughter keep insisting and even making her own invites to some of her friend to come to her birthday party in the park. This can be a very helpful tips. Thanks for sharing

Jen said...

Not going to lie...wine is totally in my survival guide.

Unknown said...

These are great tips! I definitely agree with the drink at the end! :)

Tatanisha Worthey said...

What great tips- every Mom needs a super hero cape when they host a birthday party! lol