An Open Letter to My Immune System

Hey girl,

It was nice of you to show up.

I guess.

I mean, I'm not really used to having you around. I'm used to getting every virus that comes along every winter. I wasn't surprised when I went through so many rounds of strep that my tonsils had to be removed at 41, or when I got that infection after I had Hugmonkey, or that I missed part of my high school graduation party because I was recovering from pneumonia. You've never been what I'd call reliable.

And when you do show up?

You're like that absentee parent who finally shows up and then spoils the kid with too much junk food and not enough routine. Instead of just protecting me from viri

I know it's viruses, technically. But in Latin, it would be viri. It should be viri. 

you go after my colon. And sometimes my joints.

So I'm torn. Part of me appreciates the fact that I haven't gotten the flu or any other crap since December. I'm pretty sure that's a winter record for me and it's great.

But.

You've started to go after my colon again. And while I'm trying to outsmart you with a low residue diet and meditation and hoarded Lialda, I'm starting to worry that I'm going to need Prednisone to make you stop.

It would be so nice to just have insurance that covered Lialda, the only ulcerative colitis maintenance drug that works for and doesn't make me nauseous all the time. 

You know that both of us hate Prednisone. I'm sure you hate it more, seeing as it's sends you off to Newark or wherever you spent my childhood/high school years/college years/30's/early 40's, but I'm really not a fan of the side effects. So.

How about you just promise to stop overcompensating for all of those years you spent away?

I promise I'll forgive you for all the times you abandoned me if you just act like a normal immune system for awhile. Like, you could JUST attack foreign invaders and not, you know, parts of our actual body.

I mean, I'm visiting 2 schools a week during flu season AND I have children, it's not like you'll have time to be bored.

Deal?

Yours truly,
Triplezmom