At Least My Kid Doesn't. . . .

We don't like to talk about it, unless we're douchebags who troll well-known parenting blogs just to hurl insults.

But we all do it.

Even though most of us aren't douchebags.

We've all had the thought, "At least my kid doesn't do THAT." That, of course, could be anything from nose picking to eating fast food to punching siblings. Those of us with a modicum of self-awareness and humility don't say these things out loud. We know that our kids do embarrassing things too. But just not THAT. For which we are grateful.

Until - possibly thanks to all of our smug little thoughts - our kid DOES do THAT. Like, I never used to understand toilet locks. My toddlers weren't interested in the toilet and would never think of playing in it. Then I had Hugmonkey, who has only recently forgotten about the joy of throwing toys into the toilet. Or splashing in it.

And you would think, having learned that the crazy/annoying stuff kids do has less to do with parenting skill and more to do with personality and opportunity, that I would have stopped having smug little thoughts. But you would be wrong. Even after the toilet thing, I had "My kids have never mess around with scissors" and "My kids don't stick things up their noses".

Ironflower decided to cut her hair Sunday morning. It was in a ponytail and she cut some section behind her ear. I didn't notice until I was brushing her hair out, intending to redo the ponytail. There was a huge knot, which made me ask if Hugmonkey had grabbed her hair (visions of peanut butter clumps dancing in my head). Suddenly the knot came out. . .into my hand. I may have freaked out a bit until I realized it had been cut. Not that she admitted it for quite awhile.

Though she did admit to the time she got a pretzel stuck up her nose at her Grammy's house, "And Grammy had to get it out with a tweezer!". She shared this while I removed a Lego from Hugmonkey's nose. At least I didn't have to resort to tweezers.

But still.

I'm really going to try harder to be less smug. So even though Lovebug is not mentioned in any of these disillusionment stories, I am not going to brag about how at least I have one kid who doesn't do THAT. No, I am definitely not going to feel the least big smug.

Especially since he's the one who removed his dirty diaper once and. . .well, let's just say I had to scrub the walls after that nap session.

What are or have been your smug little parenting thoughts? Have you had to get over them?

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Haiku Friday - At In The Swing

Free day at play space

so many kids and their moms

I am exhausted

 

Ironflower smiles

Lovebug cannot stop grinning

ball pit so much fun

 

Most other kids nice

Except for that one kicker

You handled it so well

 

I am so so proud

you two are great in public

should we go out more?