Until today, I would have told you that the best thing about being 40 is that there was no Facebook around when I was young and stupid. Because no one needs a timeline of that. But now that the luxury merkin, or furkin, is a thing, I have to say the fact that I'll never be expected to get one is the best thing about being 40.
A furkin, for those of you (wisely) afraid to click the link, is when a woman completely waxes her pubic hair, then puts on a pubic wig made of dyed fox fur.
A pubic wig, people.
I refuse to further investigate this phenomenon to find out if it stays on during sex or if people into bestiality started it. I will, however, hope that they do a new episode of Real Sex so I can watch practitioners try to justify it. Because really, unless you're very excited by fox fur, or you prefer your women to look like anime characters, why would this be a turn on?
Of course, I never understood vajazzling either. Or anything beyond neatness and cleanliness. Possibly because no man who's gotten near my nether regions has ever said anything like, "Gee, I'd be so much more turned on if you had my initials spelled out in glitter down here," or "Wow, if only your pubes were hot pink and soft, I'd be so happy." I'm pretty sure that when a man gets near the nether regions, all he's thinking is, "I hope I get to have sex soon."
I fear this trend of dressing up the vaginas. I feel like it's telling young women, "There's absolutely no part of you that's acceptable just the way it is." The little feminist in my head says that this could also be an argument for not advertising make-up and photo-retouching to teenagers, but since I'm devoted to tinted moisturizer, I feel that bringing up this point might be hypocritical. Also, make-up and photo-retouching are not physically painful, but waxing sure as hell is. Not to mention, what happens when the furkin is removed? That's gotta hurt too.
Not that I'll ever have to find out.
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
1/26/2012
8/22/2009
I Never Should Have Turned On the TV
Let's take a moment to think about the Fresh Beat Band, formerly known as The Jumparounds.
Done yet?
Unless you have very young children, you probably have no idea who I'm talking about. Lucky you.
The Fresh Beat Band has a show on Nickelodeon. I've never seen it, I've only been subjected to their music videos, which are played all the time on Noggin. They are annoyingly catchy, like Roxette. But for preschoolers.
Anyway, I looked them up this morning. Not because I want to buy an album - I swear - but because one of them looks vaguely familiar. It turns out that I don't know her, but in my explorations I did discover something odd.
Oh my God, so much explanation for something and it's not that big of a deal. Sorry.
There are a lot of parents out there with very passionate feelings about the Fresh Beat Band. And they all have way too much time on their hands. I mean, I know people argue on message boards instead of just writing their own blogs (though I don't know why since here I can just delete anyone who disagrees with me), but a children's band? Really? Shouldn't parents have better things to argue about, like the introduction of solid food?
What is wrong with people? No wonder W. was president for 8 years and no one understands the politics of the recession and health care reform. . .they're all busy fighting about whether the Fresh Beat Band members are "too pretty" (Is everyone on Noggin supposed to be as freakish looking the humans on Lazytown?).
And I'd like to know how the hell they have time for this. As a parent who spends a LOT of time on the computer (er, I work on here. It's not all Facebook.) and doesn't even have time to look at message boards, I wonder if all of these people have maids and nannies? I somehow doubt it.
Or maybe they care so much about what's on Noggin because all their children do is watch it?
PS To the person who said that they "Have" to lip sync because they're also dancing. . . go see a Broadway show. Or a high school show, for that matter. They can dance and sing at the same time. It's called talent.
PPS To the people complaining that the videos are just advertising. . . .the whole damn network is advertising. You think they're being noble by not having traditional commercials? No, they're selling your kids all the characters so that you wind up buying Dora dolls, Diego toothbrushes, Max and Ruby books. .. .uh, not that I've been that naive. No way.
Done yet?
Unless you have very young children, you probably have no idea who I'm talking about. Lucky you.
The Fresh Beat Band has a show on Nickelodeon. I've never seen it, I've only been subjected to their music videos, which are played all the time on Noggin. They are annoyingly catchy, like Roxette. But for preschoolers.
Anyway, I looked them up this morning. Not because I want to buy an album - I swear - but because one of them looks vaguely familiar. It turns out that I don't know her, but in my explorations I did discover something odd.
Oh my God, so much explanation for something and it's not that big of a deal. Sorry.
There are a lot of parents out there with very passionate feelings about the Fresh Beat Band. And they all have way too much time on their hands. I mean, I know people argue on message boards instead of just writing their own blogs (though I don't know why since here I can just delete anyone who disagrees with me), but a children's band? Really? Shouldn't parents have better things to argue about, like the introduction of solid food?
What is wrong with people? No wonder W. was president for 8 years and no one understands the politics of the recession and health care reform. . .they're all busy fighting about whether the Fresh Beat Band members are "too pretty" (Is everyone on Noggin supposed to be as freakish looking the humans on Lazytown?).
And I'd like to know how the hell they have time for this. As a parent who spends a LOT of time on the computer (er, I work on here. It's not all Facebook.) and doesn't even have time to look at message boards, I wonder if all of these people have maids and nannies? I somehow doubt it.
Or maybe they care so much about what's on Noggin because all their children do is watch it?
PS To the person who said that they "Have" to lip sync because they're also dancing. . . go see a Broadway show. Or a high school show, for that matter. They can dance and sing at the same time. It's called talent.
PPS To the people complaining that the videos are just advertising. . . .the whole damn network is advertising. You think they're being noble by not having traditional commercials? No, they're selling your kids all the characters so that you wind up buying Dora dolls, Diego toothbrushes, Max and Ruby books. .. .uh, not that I've been that naive. No way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)