An Open Letter to Brands

Dear (many, but by no means all) Corporate and Advertising Social Media people,

     Hi. I'm a mommy blogger. I'm not famous - not even within mommy blogging circles - but I've been in the community for 4 years or so. I read a lot of bloggers. I hang out on the Twitter. And I'm watching what you're doing to the community that saved my sanity when I had 2 kids in 15 months and quit teaching. And then moved halfway across the country. These are the (mostly) women who prevented me from feeling so alone, who made me laugh exactly when I needed it. And now that you've discovered how awesome they are, you've decided to take advantage.

You sponsor posts, which just means you create a lot of really cheap commercials. You have people host giveaways and "reviews", but negative reviews are not allowed. You throw Twitter parties so that bloggers can maybe earn a gift card. You send us press releases. You take some bloggers on trips so that they're grateful enough to spread your message. You offer coupons. You believe you are doing us all a favor.

Your favor, though, has started a lot of arguments. Now it's true that there have always been arguments in the mommy blogging community - co-sleeping, TV watching, what have you. But the debacle with the Corn Refiners Association, for example, was especially ugly. Now there's a baby feeding app from  Similac causing even more drama. It makes me so frustrated.

What you have to understand, corporate types, is that my blog is my little piece of real estate on the internet. And when you offer me $5 to post your product on a banner across my front window, you'd better have the most amazing product ever. I do not get paid for hanging out on this piece of real estate like "real" journalists. I do not have a union or corporate structure to hide behind if I set off an explosion in my internet yard. Chances are, I bought this piece of real estate because I like writing and the idea of joining a community. Also, I may crave adult interaction. Do not confuse this with a desire to talk about your product.

If you want to advertise on my blog, BUY AN AD. I will not sell space to you if I hate your product, thus my readers are reminded that I approve of your product and you get a sign on my lawn. If you want my opinion on your product, let me sample it and pay me as much as you pay people in your focus groups.  I often make $75 an hour to hang out with you and your product at a focus group, but you want to give me $10 or a free sample for letting you come over to my internet home and hang out for weeks at a time? And in the focus group you value my honesty, but in MY SPACE you want me to lie? Really? Doesn't that seem a little messed up?

Look, I know you've found lots of mommy bloggers willing to do things your way. But just because people are willing to put up with something, that doesn't make it right. People also used to put up with jobs that had no sick days or institutionalizing kids who were different or ostracizing people with AIDS. And then people fought for what was right and the world got better. Don't you want to make the social media world a better place?

Sincerely,
TripleZmom

Jerseygirl Takes Manhattan, Part Deux*

*If you get that reference, you are old enough to read this blog. If you don't get it, pretend I'm French.

Sorry it's been a week. . .what can I say? I suck. And I started exercising, which requires me to not only find time to do that, but also to shower every day. What really sucks is that I've been doing it for like a month and I haven't gotten my pre-kid body back. I mean, my Goddess, I've also CUT DOWN ON MY CHOCOLATE INTAKE. How come I'm not a size 8 yet? Shouldn't 6 years of overindulgence be erased with 6 weeks of (somewhat spotty) discipline?

But back to my exciting trip to NYC.

So, I get in line to go into the event, desperately reading name tags hoping to find a person who might possibly know who I am. Okay, Jill Asher (the founder) and Linsey Krolick (a managing partner) seemed to recognize my name but, um, that's kind of their job. Plus, they were kind of busy. The space was very cool, but the theater where we had the symposium was rather small. Perfect for the group of brands and bloggers talking about um, brands and blogging, but I wouldn't want to see a movie there.

Anyway, inside the theater we all took turns introducing ourselves. I recycled my joke about "Jerseygirl" sounding cute when I lived in Kansas City, people chuckled politely and I don't think I stammered. So I feel pretty good about that. Especially since the last time I had a microphone and a room full of strangers I had also had ten shots of tequila and a karaoke machine.

Many smart people  jumped on their phones and laptops, tweeting about the discussion and following the other mom bloggers there. I took notes, because I graduated from college in 1993 and that's how we rolled back then. Plus, while I've been blogging for a while (Dirty Little Secret originally appeared on Blogger in 2007), I'm pretty new to the whole advertising/reviewing/perks thing. So the symposium was great.

Then there was the cocktail party. I thought we'd just be talking to the brand people, but instead they had little displays and they all gave us stuff AND talked to us. And when I say stuff, I mean I got 2 free tickets to Wicked. Which we saw when I was pregnant with Ironflower and I love, love, love. Also, I got an adorable Jerseygirl luggage tag from Mabel's Labels. Many of the brands had their p.r. firms there to butter up the mommy bloggers, but Julie, one of the founders of Mabel's Labels, was there herself. And she is kind and interesting and their products really are adorable. Just sayin'.

Also, Cinnabon will soon be coming out with cupcakes. And they are GOOOOOOD.

Bitdefender was the sponsor, they have really good identity protection/anti-virus software and are very supportive of mom bloggers.

Honestly, I was overwhelmed by all the great brands there - Panasonic, Lawry's, Lifetime, iGo (portable cell phone rechargers, people!), Mobi-stories (story books that your kids can manipulate) and Cirque du Soleil and probably some others that I've forgotten.

One important thing I did learn: If  you are interested in reviewing products and that kind of stuff, include all of your contact email and professional experience in your "About Me" section. The easier it is for the p.r. people and companies to reach you, the more likely it is that they will.

Also, I really should have taken more of the cupcakes. They offered me more and I turned them down because I was carrying bags of stuff already. I? Am dumb sometimes.