I'm Not the Funniest Cousin

I'm having bloggers' block, my friends.

I can't tell whether it's because I've started thinking in t-shirt slogans, whether it's my depression trying to pull me into a pit of despair or whether I'm just too enraged by the news lately to find stuff to write about. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch about politics in every post but I'm not sure that level of constant rage would be good for me. I'm not Lewis Black. 

I mean, I couldn't pull myself together enough to write a "Friday I'm in Love" post last week. 

But! 

Even though I'm still feeling like a disaster and it's Monday, not Friday. . .I do have something good to share.

I suppose I could have waited until Friday and done another Cure tribute/Friday I'm in Love post. But then I would have had to title it "Friday I'm in Love With. . .My Cousin" and um, let's just say that my blog doesn't need that kind of traffic. 

My cousin is an amazing human being. He's overcome more than I can imagine and he's one of the best people I know. He's also funny as shit. 

Proof:

This is long but it's worth watching the whole thing. But not at work or around children. 

This was his first paid stand-up gig and it was for a good cause and I'm just so damn proud of him.

Pop Culture Thursday: An Oasis in the TV Desert

If Kathy Griffin, Joan Rivers and Amy Poehler had a comedy baby, it would be Amy Schumer.




I would like Amy Schumer to be my best friend. Provided that she is actually making fun of herself (and others) in this video and that she's not actually like this. If she's actually like this, I'll settle for being regular friends. I'm not a masochist.

Anyway, Inside Amy Schumer is my favorite thing on T.V. right now. Granted, there's not a lot of competition right now, but still. Her show makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it. I'd watch it even during the regular TV season.

Besides, I feel a certain feminist pull to support a woman's show on Comedy Central - really, to support women in comedy in general. Not because I don't love (some) men in comedy, but because douchecanoes like Daniel Tosh and Dane Cook have their own shows and specials all the time and women of much greater talent do not.

An Open Letter to Adam Sandler

Dear Mr. Sandler,

Last night I had the opportunity to watch your movie, That's My Boy. Before you assume that I am some prissy suburban matron, let me assure you that Animal House is one of my favorite movies. I'm not easily offended and I definitely like so-called "boys' humor". Though, really, The Wedding Singer was your best movie ever.

But what the hell, Mr. Sandler?

This movie had potential. Sure, as a former teacher and as a mother, I find the whole idea of a teacher/seventh grader relationship being played for laughs a little gross. But I could have overlooked that, I wanted to overlook that.

I like you, Mr. Sandler. I like Mr. Sandberg. I like that you cast Vanilla Ice in your movies. And I think Rachel Dratch should be in every movie, so kudos to you for recognizing that. I also appreciate your judicious use of '80's music. Even the idea of a hedge fund manager with a loser father had potential, but oh my god, what the fuck was up with the (spoiler alert) brother/sister incest thing?

That's how you had to make the fiancee unappealing? REALLY?

You couldn't think of anything else? Like maybe she's a teacher having an affair with her own student? Or she's really a bounty hunter trying to find you? Or she's really in love with Rachel Dratch's character? Nothing occurred to you but incest?

And then, after your character's big speech about what love is, you never show him reunited with the teacher? If you talked Susan Sarandon into doing one scene, surely you could have talked her into two.

It was like you couldn't decide whether to do a heartwarming comedy about fatherhood or the most offensive long form Saturday Night Live sketch ever. Please pick one next time.

Respectfully yours,
TripleZmom

I Tried to Review Bridesmaids

I saw Bridesmaids yesterday.

(I pretty much only see comedies anymore, all other movies make me cry. I don't know what exactly happened when they removed Ironflower from my womb, the doctors had to give me lots of extra drugs because I started having a panic attack on the table {look, none of the articles I'd read about c-sections mentioned that I'd feel like I was tilted backwards after the epidural, or like I had an elephant sitting on my chest, okay?}, but I do know that they did more than just take out the baby and the placenta. I actually tear up at comedies, to be perfectly honest, but that's always because of the happy ending. I get the warm fuzzies and the tears came out. And if anything sad should happen? I will sob out loud. I wouldn't even watch Bambi with my kids. Before I had kids, the only movies that made me cry were E.T. and Schindler's List. You'd have to be Karl Rove not to cry at E.T. and Schindler's List.)


Anyone who thinks women aren't funny, or aren't as funny as men, is an idiot. Obviously.





But apparently those idiots hold a lot of purse strings in Hollywood. Even though Bridesmaids was written by 2 women and the cast is mostly women, all the Google links I found mentioned producer Judd Apatow and the male director. Which begs the question, why do those idiots have jobs that involve greenlighting movies, and all the smart people I know have jobs that involve being home with their kids, teaching, blogging, running game stores or otherwise NOT greenlighting movies?

Bridesmaids is very, very funny.

(Damn, I suck at reviews.)

If you have ever felt like the only single person at a social event, if you have ever put up with a lot of bullshit in a relationship just because the other person was hot, if you have ever felt inadequate or if you like men with Irish accents, Bridesmaids will be very, very, very enjoyable.

Other observations:

Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey and Diablo Cody should write a movie together.

Melissa McCarthy should be in every movie ever.

Gross bodily functions are much funnier when they involve expensive dresses.

If they have to do another Hangover movie, it should be incorporated into Bridesmaids 2.

The theater was packed with couples. . .and women of a certain age. Nothing cooler than seeing a bunch of 60 year old women laugh at penis jokes.

I will never make it as a movie critic.