I'm Not the Funniest Cousin

I'm having bloggers' block, my friends.

I can't tell whether it's because I've started thinking in t-shirt slogans, whether it's my depression trying to pull me into a pit of despair or whether I'm just too enraged by the news lately to find stuff to write about. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch about politics in every post but I'm not sure that level of constant rage would be good for me. I'm not Lewis Black. 

I mean, I couldn't pull myself together enough to write a "Friday I'm in Love" post last week. 

But! 

Even though I'm still feeling like a disaster and it's Monday, not Friday. . .I do have something good to share.

I suppose I could have waited until Friday and done another Cure tribute/Friday I'm in Love post. But then I would have had to title it "Friday I'm in Love With. . .My Cousin" and um, let's just say that my blog doesn't need that kind of traffic. 

My cousin is an amazing human being. He's overcome more than I can imagine and he's one of the best people I know. He's also funny as shit. 

Proof:

This is long but it's worth watching the whole thing. But not at work or around children. 

This was his first paid stand-up gig and it was for a good cause and I'm just so damn proud of him.

Friday I'm In Love: Triple Z Tees

It started with a post on a local parenting group I'm in. Someone wanted a Christmas ornament that showed our town and I thought his description sounded like it would make a great t-shirt. I considered trying to make one, but then I got distracted by the holidays.

Also, my self-doubt dropped by and was like, "Bitch, you don't know how to design things. Or how to sell things. Stay in your lane." 

The following month, Ironflower fell in love with Heathers the Musical and I though it would be fun to get her a Heathers t-shirt. Except that I couldn't find one. Anywhere. And I quickly thought of all these Heathers related t-shirt ideas.

And my self-doubt was like, "Bitch, you do not know what you are doing. You are not artistic, you do not have Photoshop and no one else loves Heathers as much as you do." 

I started playing around with some ideas anyway.

My self-doubt was not pleased. 

I told her to fuck off.

So, I've made some t-shirts and sweatshirts, which you can see right on this very blog. You can click that link, or the shop link at the top. Hell, you can even see some of them on my Facebook page. Mostly they are just things I would wear, or might considering owning.

It's entirely possible that they all suck.

If you think this, please email my self-doubt directly at waystoindulgemydespression at gmail dot com. She would love to hear from you. 

But I had fun making them and figuring out how to sell them from my blog. Besides, we live in a world where Alex Jones has people listen to his bullshit and buy his stupid supplements. If that asshole can sell shit, so can I.

Friday I'm in Love: Tara and Johnny Rule

I confess that I was never a huge Tara Lipinski fan when she was skating. She was so new when she won gold in Nagano and I was very loyal to Michelle Kwan. And then she quit competing and I sort of forgot about her.

I liked Johnny more than Tara when he was skating, but I wasn't a huge fan.

When they first started commentating in Sochi, I realized why I hadn't been really into them as skaters.

Tara and Johnny were born to commentate, not skate.

I know that's a terrible thing to say about an Olympic gold medalist and a national champion, but it's the fucking truth. 

I would like them to commentate on every sport, even though I'm fully aware that part of what makes them great as skating commentators is that they know EXACTLY what they are talking about and they are not afraid to be honest.

Still, most sports aren't quite as technically complicated as figure skating. I think they'd figure them out. Plus, they'd still have their wit, honesty and friendship.

The more I think about it, I think NBC should give them their own show. Let them commentate on everything.

I mean, if that unhinged idiot Sean Hannity can have a show, why not Tara and Johnny? 
They're more humorous, stylish and well-informed. 

And they could throw in a hell of a lip sync battle every now and then.

Friday I'm in Love: Lin-Manuel Miranda

In a world where it's easy to find so much news and information of the heartbreaking variety, knowing that Lin-Manuel Miranda is out there makes me feel better.

If you don't follow him on Twitter, you should.

Gnight!
Lay out your worries.
Some you'll pay down a bit every day, some evaporate upon being named.
Don't bring them into bed, they cast grotesque shadows and leave crumbs like a muhf***ker.
Sleep easy.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 24, 2018

His inspirational twitter feed and his charity work (especially for Hurricane Maria victims) is Friday post-worthy, of course.

But he's also got this day job as a composer/lyricist/actor, perhaps you've heard?




Hamilton was Lin-Manuel Miranda's SECOND Broadway show. How flipping awesome. I mean, his first wasn't exactly a flop. . .




Now, I'll grant that the first two shows Sondheim worked on that made it to Broadway were impressive - West Side Story and Gypsy - but he only did the lyrics.

Not that I'm ranking musical theater composers or anything, but if I was. . .

Friday I'm In Love. . .With the Revivalists

When your favorite musicians include prolific artists like U2 and Led Zeppelin, and you're well over 40, it can be hard to discover new musicians. . . right?

I remember when I was young and not only did it seem vitally important to discover the newest cool bands, it wasn't that difficult. All I had to do was listen to the college radio station for a few hours.

Now that kind of sounds like hell, to be honest.

Fortunately I no longer aspire to be cool (obviously).

But I have recently discovered that sometimes I'd like to listen to something new. But not, um, different. So sometimes I tune my Sirius to Alt Nation. I don't know that they play more songs I like than say, Lithium or First Wave or Classic Rewind, but I know that even the songs I don't like don't remind me of a bad memory like they do on Lithium, First Wave and Classic Rewind.

And sometimes they play


I literally pulled over and wrote down the name of the song/artist when I first heard it. Because I am a raging nerd.

Thanks to the wonders of my Echo Dot I was able to tell Alexa to play all of their music when I got home. This is so much better than that time I fell in love with Inside Out by Eve 6 , bought the album and discovered I hated the rest of their music.

Do people even buy albums anymore?

Anyway. You've probably heard of them already, because apparently they've been on Jimmy Fallon and been around for 10 years and you're undoubtedly cooler than I am.

But I don't care. I'm just happy I've discovered that I can like new music.

Friday I'm in Love. . .With The Katydids

Ironflower's real name was almost Katherine. Which probably doesn't explain the almost spiritual connection I feel to the Katydids, the female, Kate-named improv troupe that created, writes, produces and stars in the show Teachers, but I feel compelled to point it out anyway.

Because while I was totally cool when I ran into Siggy Flicker from the Real Housewives of New Jersey at Trader Joe's this week, I would absolutely fan girl like an idiot if I ran into any of the Katydids there.

Fortunately this will never happen because none of them live in NJ.

Quick note about the Siggy sighting, for those of you into #RHONJ: She is almost as short as I am when she's wearing Ugg slippers at Trader Joe's. She shops FAST. Only me and the guy at the checkout seemed to recognize her. She did not cry or complain about Margaret while she was there. 

Anyway, the Katydids are super cool despite not living in NJ.

Teachers ended its second season (on TV Land) last Tuesday, but I'm pretty sure you can watch it On Demand or online if you would like a break from all the stuff I normally post about.

I don't think you have to be (or have been) a teacher to appreciate the show, but since half the people who read me are anyway. . . .

Friday I'm In Love: This Post Wasn't Sponsored

This post has affiliate links. Because I'm posting about something I actually like!  You are free to ignore them. Keep in mind, though,  that Jeff Bezos will not miss the nickels I will earn if you buy through me, but I'll be forever grateful. 

For Christmas, my Dad (thanks, Dad!) got our family an Echo Dot . The kids were very excited to be able to ask Alexa things, because they love harassing her at my parents' house. (I have a very bad habit of anthropomorphizing Alexa. I've been known to thank her.) It was nice to just ask for the weather and top news headlines, instead of getting sucking into the morass that is my phone and all of its various notifications and distractions.

 Quickly we all embraced her ability to keep track of our every growing grocery list, especially since we could just yell things to her while we were in the middle of cooking.

But it was Hot Guy demanding that she play "Rhinestone Cowboy"  to torture the kids that made me fall in love with the Echo Dot . Alexa explained that if we had Amazon Music she could play us the whole song, but since we didn't, she'd play us an excerpt. Immediately I investigated Amazon Music.

Now, probably all of you reading this have many cool music apps and/or already know about Amazon Music but we. . . .did not. We still have CDs. We just got rid of our stereo last year. Sometimes we try Pandora, but for years most of my music enjoyment has been in the car. When I was in a car with Sirius Satellite Radio.

Anyway. I knew nothing about Amazon Music, despite having been a Prime Member since 2004. I quickly discovered that because I'm a Prime Member, I can pay $3.99 per month for a vast, ad-free, music library that I can play on the Echo Dot and from my phone in the car and from my iPad and. . .

I was able to impress seventh grade girls by telling Alexa to play Imagine Dragons.

I was able to make playlists so easily and with so many different artists that I finally stopped missing mixed tapes.

I was able to listen to it from my phone during my commute to work in the car that doesn't have satellite radio.

I don't think I realized how much I missed listening to music until I was able to do it again. I apologize for writing a post that seems like it's sponsored.

It's totally not. I just really like my Echo Dot and Amazon Music. And I thought I'd try to see if I could still write about something I actually like. During one of the other times I regularly blogged, I did a series called "Friday I'm in Love" to focus on the happy (and to pay tribute to one of my favorite Cure songs, obviously). I'm considering doing it again.

I just doubt I'm going to find something I love as much as my Echo Dot every single week.

Jekyll Island With Kids

I almost called this post, "Friday I'm in L-----Why the hell isn't winter over yet?" But I restrained myself for two reasons. One is that I think I'm not going to use my themes in blog post titles anymore, just in labels. Two is that my Friday posts are supposed to be about positivity and things I love.

So once again I'm revisiting a past trip. Where it was WARM.

Last year we went to Jekyll Island, Georgia, to help celebrate my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. It was sort of a mini-family reunion with my mom's side of the family and it was so much fun. There were so many terrific cousins around we barely had to watch our own kids. It was awesome. Jekyll Island would be fun even if you didn't have family members watching over your kids, though.

I could not find any of our mini-golf pictures, but there's a mini-golf course too. We had so much fun. And we didn't have to wear winter coats!

Friday I'm in Love: Tampa With Kids

Normally as the winter drags on into March, I don't care because I'm too busy planning our March/April trip to Florida. But this year, in addition to being one of the worst winters I can remember, we're not going to Florida.

I am trying not to be bitter.

In effort to stick with my "Friday I'm in Love" theme of being more f***ing positive, I have decided to share some of the fun things to do with kids in the Tampa area. And to try to be grateful that we've gotten to go for the last couple of years.

This is my (now-local) brother-in-law's favorite beach. 

Not only does this park have an old fort, it also has some great beaches. 

This is the BEST aquarium. You can see Winter (the dolphin from the movie Dolphin Tale) and learn so much. Plus, it's way more ethical than Sea World. And it's right near Clearwater Beach!

This museum has a really fun children's play area as well. 

Anna Maria is closer to Bradenton, but it is my all-time favorite place in Florida. Beaches, restaurants, history and quaintness. 

We love aquariums. This one also has a cool kids' water play area. 

What are some of your favorite warm weather destinations? Help me daydream, please. 

Check out some other great posts at the Epic Linky Party:

Friday I'm in Love: Literacy Activities

My favorite subject when I was a teacher was reading. There was nothing more fun to me than teaching kids to read and reading aloud to them. I remember fixing one awful, awful day (there'd been vomiting, two fistfights and I was fighting off the flu) by chucking out my lesson plans and spending an hour reading books to my class. Hell, when I have a bad day, a good book is the first thing I want (at least now that I no longer guzzle gin and tonics).

The first time I read to Ironflower, I teared up, I was so happy to finally be reading to my little girl. She was three days old. I think I started reading to the boys even before I got home from the hospital. And even though she and Lovebug now can and do read extremely well on their own, I still read to them most nights. I feel like most parents know they should read to their kids every night, but that doesn't have to be the only way parents can help their kids with literacy.

• Have rich conversations. Even if your little one can't respond verbally yet, s/he is paying attention to what you say. So narrate your day. Use big words. Encourage toddlers and preschoolers to ask what new words mean. 
• Share the alphabet. I'm not a big fan of flashcards for young children (especially babies), but that doesn't mean I don't think they should be introduced to the alphabet. Sing the ABC song, point out letters on signs, read them alphabet books and so on. 
• Rhyme. Rhyming is one part of phonemic awareness, a key component of reading skill. When repeating directions, try rhyming some of the words ("Give me a hug, bug!"). With preschoolers, play "I Spy", but instead of using colors, say, "I spy with my little eye something that rhymes with ____". 
• Label pictures. When your little one proudly points to his scribbles and announces that it's actually a picture of your mother-in-law, carefully write "Grandma" on the page. As your kiddo grows, so will his descriptions. Eventually you'll be writing down entire stories for him! 
• Play with the alphabet. Magnetic letters, alphabet puzzles and board books may not be much fun to step on (though they're all better than Legos, trust me), but they are great for familiarizing kids with the alphabet. 
• Encourage imaginative play. Play pretend with your kiddo - let her be the server, or the doctor, or the super hero princess and join in her story. Alphabet apps and web sites can be great for preschoolers and up (Starfall.com is an excellent free site), but imaginative play will do more for her than any app. 

Resources that back up what I'm saying, but that I did not actually cite in my post because all this information lives in my head (told you I'm obsessed with reading):

Phonemic Awareness in Young Children

The Essentials of Early Literacy Instruction

Friday I'm in Love: Posts I Loved This Week

Marta shared the isolation she felt as a new mother, which is the kind of honest I love.

Tia's plan for Lent has really inspired me, and I don't even do the whole Lent thing.

Aunt Becky visits the water park, it's very rare that Becky doesn't make me laugh out loud.

Masshole Mommy makes me miss living in Boston, plus she has one of my favorite blog names.

I want to make this bell pepper salad bowl, even though I don't ever cook.

Trace's Adventures in Dating reminded me what dating was like, and why I never miss it.

Read this letter at Moms Vacation Land if you want to say, "Awwww."


What's the best post you've read this week?

Friday I'm in Love: My Mom Is A Badass

My mom turns 75 today! Happy birthday, Mom! 

You'll notice that the title of this post is, "My Mom Is A Badass", rather than something like "Happy 75th Birthday, Mom!". My original birthday post idea - for 75 is definitely a post-worthy landmark birthday - was to write 75 great things about my mom.

Which I could totally do, except that I also have to do things like sleep. So then I though I'd just pick one great thing per decade, so that it would be more like 7.5 great things about my mom. And in thinking about it that way, I realized that my mom is a total badass.

7.5 Great Things About My Mom, Or Why My Mom Is A Total Badass

1. One of my mom's earliest memories is celebrating V-E day (that's Victory in Europe Day, for those of you who aren't WWII history nerds).

2. In high school, my mom managed to be a cheerleader AND in the band AND a straight-A student. I think they invented the word "overachiever" just to describe her.

3. After college, my mom became a reporter. In addition to covering news, she also learned to swear like a sailor and drink copious amounts of gin - all stuff she can still do today.

4. My mom was the first woman general news editor of United Press International.

5. People I went to elementary school with still remember my mom as "The Picture Lady" (she came in every so often to teach us about art history) and/or "The Newspaper Lady" (she ran a newspaper with the 6th graders).

6. My mom quit smoking after doing it for something like 40 years.

7. My mom slept on a crappy cot in the dining room of our first house for three weeks after Ironflower was born (cooking and cleaning non-stop), so Hot Guy and I could adjust to parenthood. She did the same thing after Lovebug was born, though that time she actually got a bed in a bedroom.

7.5 My mom had major abdominal surgery in November, somewhat less major abdominal surgery again in January. . . .and she's already back in dance class.

Friday I'm in Love: A Short List

I have been in a super grouchy mood for the past few days, though I am not sure why. But I'm trying to stick with being more positive, more often, so . . . .

1. I love Johnny Weir. The former skater doing the day time commentary on Olympic figure skating is the best commentator EVER. Plus, the outfits. NBC should use him all the time.

Courtesy of NYmag.com. 

2. I love Jonathan Kellerman. His mystery series featuring Alex Delaware

has something like 20 novels in it and I've stayed up way too late reading each and every one. Normally I don't like super popular mysteries written by men, but his just appeal to me.

3.  I love Zulily. They have the best deals on the coolest stuff. 

4. I love milk chocolate. I've tried to like dark chocolate, I really have. I'd rather have dark chocolate than lima beans. Or pork. But all of the health benefits of dark chocolate cannot make up for the smooth creaminess of milk chocolate. Ever.

5. I love my family. Even when I'm super grumpy and short-tempered, it's hard not to feel lucky because I have them.

Friday I'm in Love: Happy Valentine's Day

Even though I hate Valentine's Day, it is "Friday I'm in love" day, which means my post is supposed to be positive. So I made you all some Valentines.


You have to imagine that they're not from me.

Stuff We Don't Want To Talk About

To be clear, I don't love the topics of the following posts. But I love their messages, I love that they showed up in rather unexpected places and I love that people are talking about these things.

1. This powerful post by Rage Against the Minivan about the Dylan Farrow story is something everyone needs to read. 

2. And then a day later Buzzfeed (of all the places) posted one of the most clear, concise and commendable posts explaining rape culture that I have ever seen. 

3. BecominNeurotic discussed depression, suicide and self-care so movingly and honestly. 

4. FromTracie featured the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, which always gets my heart. She also featured this post about the Dylan Farrow story, which was amazing. 

What I love about the internet - what I've always loved about the internet - is that it gives everyone a place/chance to talk about the stuff that maybe they're not ready to discuss in real life yet. Or an opportunity to find support when they feel isolated and alone. What I love now is that more and more people are standing up and sharing their stories.

Friday I'm in Love: Divergent

I fell in love with Harry Potter grudgingly. I'd had the first three books for months; a not especially favored gift from my mother. But one weekend (before kids, before Hot Guy) I was home sick. Like, really sick. Too sick to go anywhere. And I was out of reading material, because that's the kind of challenge we faced back before Kindles, children.

I picked up the first book and got hooked. The first thing I did when I got better was go out and buy the fourth book. And now, when people talk about a YA series, I don't tune them out. Unless that series is Twilight. Then not only do I tune them out, I probably inch away from them.

Divergent is like the anti-Twilight.

I wasn't all that inspired to read it, actually. The descriptions didn't grab me. Plus, I'd already read a trilogy about a teenaged girl surviving in a dystopian society. I enjoyed it, but not so much that I thought I needed to read ANOTHER one.

But then my book club was reading it. And I had promised myself that I was going to get myself back to my book club, because I so love it every time I go. So I picked up Divergent  last weekend.

I fell in love with it. I got Insurgent and Allegiant  as soon as I could. I cannot wait until my kids are old enough to read them; I cannot wait until I make everyone I know read them. I am sorry that it took me so long to get around to reading them, although they have definitely improved my crappy January.

Also, they should be required reading for every teenager who has adored Twilight, Flowers in the Attic and all those Sweet Dreams romances I read when I was a teenager.

PS: I also loved, loved, loved this post at Momastery this week.

Friday I'm in Love: Snow Days

I don't like winter. I don't enjoy winter sports (unless it's watching them from my nice warm couch). I would much rather be hot than cold. But if I do have to live through winter, I prefer there to be snow. Lots of snow. Preferably the kind of snow that means everything is cancelled and I don't have to go anywhere, but I'll take whatever I can get. 

Except ice. I fucking hate ice. 

And I hate the polar vortex that's making it too cold for me to send my kids out to play in the snow. Um, but since this is supposed to be about stuff I love. . .

Er. . . 

Now that my kids are older, I truly enjoy it when they have a snow day. Not only because I can sleep in, but because I feel like they need more time to play. And now that they play in the basement, I don't feel the need to micromanage them. It's a win for everyone. 

Friday I'm in Love: Postacular

I Google things compulsively, being both innately curious and a natural procrastinator. So this post over at Good Day, Regular People really got my attention.

I find Steph's posts at All For the Love of You really soothing. Usually, there's also a terrific parenting idea or two thrown in. This post is older (did I mention I'm way behind with the blog reading?) but I love the tradition - I want Beachmas too.

Speaking of borrowing clever parenting ideas, I also love this one from My Mommy's Place.

And if you'd like some brutally honest advice about parenting, you should check out this post from Lisa at Life As I Know It.

Christine Whelan is my idol.

This post makes me feel slightly inadequate, but if you want to see what quality homeschooling looks like, check out Confessions of a Homeschooler.

If you've ever wondered about affiliate marketing, Blogging with Simply Stacie is really informative.

I love that Buzzfeed posted Jason Brown killing it at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships.

Friday I'm in Love: My Favorite Posts This Week

If you don't love this post from Amalah, you are probably one of those people who has museum quality scrapbooks for each month of each of your children's lives and we're never going to be friends.

For anyone who is a new parent, hopes to be a new parent someday, or remembers being a new parent, this post from How to Be a Dad is for you.

This is older, but as usual I'm way behind on reading all the delightful people of the internet, so I'm sharing it now. See what Rage Against the Minivan, a Christian far more conservative than I am, had to say about Phil Robertson.

I'm not a meme fan, but I am an Aunt Becky fan. I think I've been reading her since the dawn of the internet, and her year in review posts always make me laugh out loud.

Tracie's Blog Carnival to End Child Abuse is a great resource and awareness campaign.

Every time my (not that) chronic illness gets me down, I read BecominNeurotic for inspiration. She has the soul of a warrior princess, that one.

There are a lot of TV shows that I don't actually watch because following the live tweets is more entertaining. This is generally my feeling about The Bachelor (which was definitely the worst show ever after Temptation Island. Which you should Google. Because it was AWFUL.), but I really liked Miss Banshee's blog recap of it.

What posts did you guys love this week?

Friday I'm In Love: Books, Books and More Books

So all (two) of my gift guides have focused on kids' stuff. Being an ex-elementary teacher in the middle of raising kids will do that to a person. But I realize that some people actually buy gifts for other adults, so I wanted to give some adult suggestions.

My go-to gifts (were I to have an income that allowed me to buy gifts for all the people I love and not just my children and parents) would be vibrators, booze and/or books. And since I don't recommend buying booze or vibrators online. . . .

Books for people who love Game of Thrones:



This fantasy series has fewer characters, story lines and bloodshed than George R.R. Martin's, but has the same dark humor, shocks and long waits between books. Reading these three probably won't keep you entertained all the way through until Martin's next book, but they will definitely help.



Okay, I discovered Robin Hobb while I was stalking  casually looking at Martin's blog waiting for A Dance With Dragons to come out. There's a lot more magic in these and maybe a little less violence, but the characters are what grabbed me. And all the series are complete - no waiting around! Woohoo!

But I'm actually not a huge fantasy fan. I'm more of a mystery person, especially well-written series. I'm just going to share the first book (or, at least an early book) from some of my favorites, otherwise this post will go on forever.



Not everything I read is dark and violent. Really. Those just happen to be my favorites. But I like funny people too.





Books for writers:




I just realized that this post is extremely long. I could keep going, but it's possible books I love is just going to have to be an ongoing series. What do you guys think? And what books have I left out of the genres I've already covered?