Scholastic Book Orders: Crack* or Whack?

*Obviously I have never tried crack. Because if I had I'm sure I'd be addicted to it, which means I'd be skinny and a lot more crazy. Anyway, "Crack or Whack?"sounded so much more fun than "highly addictive or pressure from the man?" 


I love to buy children's books. Fortunately I didn't discover this potentially creepy passion until I was a teacher and had an excuse. Now that I am a parent my excuse is twice as big (as is my ass, but that's another post). Mostly my passion comes into play at the library's used book sales, cute book stores and my obsession with my kids' Amazon wishlists. But then Ironflower started kindergarten.

Kindergarten means Scholastic book orders, baby.

The prices were so good. I knew it would help the teacher get books for Ironflower's classroom (not that she needs any, honestly, that classroom is amazing). And Ironflower would get the fun of getting new books every month. Not that I really let her pick out the books, but I do make sure that there's at least 1 book that each kid will especially like. I'm a giver.

Scholastic publishes so many wonderful books. I mean I'd be grateful to them for Harry Potter
 and Katniss Everdeen anyway, but my kids love all the photographic non-fiction and classics too. And Scooby-Doo phonics (see? I told you I pick out books the kids will like. Even if it makes me cringe). This month, though, our finances are really, really, really, tight. Like tomorrow I head back to the content-factory tight.

So why I am still staring at the Scholastic book order?

It's not like my kids don't have plenty of books. And trips to the library. Surely we could skip it for a month. Then I had this image of Ironflower being the ONLY kid in her class not getting books when the orders came in (this is completely realistic, not me being dramatic).

And then I got pissed.

I've been had. This is what Scholastic is counting on. Sure, they might say that they're just trying to give every kid the opportunity to buy books. But I used to teach in the hood. I hardly ever had even ONE kid order books. So no, they're not bringing opportunity to the masses. They're guilt-tripping the broke parents and the busy parents. They are exploiting our love for our children by making us buy their books every month.

Fucking brilliant.

Oh, and evil.

At 20 I would have organized a protest about this. At not yet 40, I think, "Well, at least they're not poisoning us or giving Michele Bachmann money." I'll rebel in my own quiet way - I'm NOT going to be guilt-tripped into ordering books this month. "Book orders are whack!" I'll yell when Ironflower asks me about it.

Next month will be a different story. It's very hard to get over crack, you know.

My Children Are Underprivileged

My Dad keeps sending me articles from the Wall Street Journal about modern parenting. Apparently, my toddlers should be in language classes, music classes and Little Gym. They should have a $1200 swing set and a climbing wall in the basement. And we should be saving up to take them on safari.

Look, I wish we had the swing set and I'm looking into music classes (though I'm really not going to worry much about extra-curricular activities until they are actually following a curriculum). But we're not going a safari. Even if I win the Lottery.

The Wall Street Journal interviewed parents who took their elementary school-aged kids on African safaris, vacations to Hong Kong and Panama and camping in the Brazilian rainforest. It even listed resources for "Adventure Travel with Kids" - and medical warnings.

Helloooooooooooo? These are the same parents who make their kids where helmets, who make sure playground floors are comfortable enough to sleep on, who complain if a teacher marks their child's paper in red (yes, this is true, most school districts do not allow teachers to correct in red anymore), who spend their lives making sure their children suffer no consequences or disappointments. . .but they're willing to shell out thousands of dollars to take their children places that lack safe drinking water and medical facilities?

I believe in travel. I think children should experience the world around them - and not just the sanitized Disney version (though I can't wait until my kids are old enough to appreciate Disney World). We even travelled to Alaska last summer - with a 19 month old and a 4 month old. But I believe that one of the best things about having kids is encouraging their sense of wonder - at even the simplest things. For most kids, a (reasonable) ride in an airplane is almost as good as the destination. What are 7 year olds who have seen tigers up close going to wonder about anymore? What's going to be exciting and wonder-ful to ten year olds who have canoed down the Amazon?

But setting aside safety and spoiling concerns, I still have a problem. One of the parents in the article suggested that, "You can't save the world unless you know what's in it." I agree with that, theoretically. But shouldn't we start with our own country anyway? Have the kids whose parents are showing off ever more fantastical vacations ever been to a farm? Have these kids been to New York City and compared it to Kansas City? Have these kids walked on a glacier in Alaska? Have they been to the Grand Canyon? To Gettysburg? To Washington D.C.? To Mount Rushmore? To a working cider mill? To a rocky beach in Oregon? To a smooth beach in Florida? To New Orleans? To the Freedom Trail? To Las Vegas? To Santa Fe? To Iowa City (I'm not kidding, it's a wonderful town)?

Before we can ask our children to save our world, we need them to save our country. And if we raise them to think that there's not much in our country worth seeing, what are we teaching them? They're not going to save something they don't respect.

Sorry kids, you're going to have to go on Safari on your own time. This summer we're hitting the Jersey shore, Ohio, Illinois and Kansas.