The One Where I Try To Write A Humorous, Yet Random, Post

Let's chat, shall we? I have a few things I'd like to share about my life these days.

1. I have my first post up at Prefabcosm.com, which is the work-at-home job I've mentioned. Mostly I do research, though.

2. I'm getting used to feeling nauseous all the time, but I'm really bitter about the fact that all of my pants/jeans/skirts are already so uncomfortable that all I wear are yoga pants and the 7$ maternity jeans I got on Target.com. With the other two, I didn't wear maternity clothes until the second trimester. This is just so wrong.

3. The houseguests are still around. They have been staying at my parents', though they often spend an afternoon here. I'd like to ask your opinion on a few things about them, because they seem to think that we're the weird ones. (BTW, this is really not Hubby's fault and he feels guilty enough, so don't pick on him, okay? This is really about them.)

-Would you ever invite yourself to stay with non-family members for longer than a weekend? (apparently, they also spent six weeks staying with a family in Brazil)

-If you were staying at someone's house, would you leave their coffee mug in the sink while you put all of your dishes in the dishwasher?

-If you were staying at a virtual stranger's house after assuring them that you would be buying your own food, would you eat their tomatoes, eggs and bread after they said you could have some lettuce?

-If you were staying an hour's train ride from New York City for three weeks, would you only go into the city three times, instead spending your days watching TV, playing a computer game, reading and working on your book based on characters you created with your friends in high school?

-If you were having a lovely dinner at the home of your friend's in-laws, who are letting you stay with them, would you get up and walk away from the table while all of the other adults were still talking? And would you then motion for your girlfriend to join you so that she could rub your neck?

-Would you be pissed if, the hostess of the home you were staying in for two weeks asked you to stay out of the kitchen one morning (instead of cooking your normal fried breakfast) because she was scrubbing its floor?

-Would you say thank you if someone folded your laundry for you?

4. I took Lovebug to the new pediatrician today for his belated two year check-up (because we FINALLY have health insurance! Yay us!). I LOVE the new pediatrician and her staff. But she is concerned about Lovebug's articulation - I understand him more than 50% of the time (apparently 50% is the norm for two year olds), but other people probably don't. If it doesn't get better within the next month, I'm to call Early Intervention. But I'm wondering if I should just call now? I'm also wondering if frustration over us not understanding him is what causes his meltdowns.

5. I have signed the children up for story time at the library. I am afraid. When I used to take Ironflower to story time in Kansas City, she would not sit still for any of it. She ran around until the craft time came. While I think school might have mellowed her, I'm pretty sure Lovebug will not deign to sit with me and listen to a story when we do that at home. But it's free and will keep them entertained for thirty minutes. So what if it raises my blood pressure, right?

6. This post really wasn't that funny, was it? How come when other bloggers write their random posts I always find them funny, but I can't do it on my own?

Haiku Friday - Our Guests

Talked to Hubby

about our houseguest problem

but no fix just yet

we were blackmailed

and it seems so was Celia

Sam is an asshole

Hubby is loyal

guilty about Sam's childhood

sorry it was so bad

Sam reminds me of

my first husband, selfish prick

without bad childhood

Still, they are alike

I am physically ill

Hubby so stressed

Sam so demanding

he doesn't see it that way

doesn't get others

I refuse to leave

this is my house, my kindness

you never come back

Entertain yourselves

you'll pay for Hubby not me?

He's not going, jerk

No Wait, I'm a Saint

Thank you everyone who posted such kind, positive and sneaky comments yesterday after my vent about the houseguests. My mother read the post and has emailed her outrage and invitation for the kids and I to stay, so if it gets too bad we will do that.

I never should have said they could come. That's why I feel bitchy about it. Do you think saying, "I didn't realize how annoying you'd be," would be offensive to them?

Do you all mind if I share some more?

Too bad.

Last night Hubby had a play reading in the city. Because he is the cook in the family, I planned on making grilled cheese for the kids, assuming Sam and Celia would want to go into the city with Hubby. But no, Hubby says that Sam said that would be too expensive. They'll be staying here. But Sam is going to make spaghetti for everyone. (nevermind that my kids don't actually eat spaghetti).

Except that Sam and Celia slept until 7:30pm, so I made grilled cheese for the kids and myself. Then, as I was putting the kids to bed, they had a romantic dinner - after rearranging my dining room. Although I do give them points for cleaning it up (although, you know, not that way I like it).

Anyway, today Sam wants us all to go to the mall. He'll buy us all lunch there, but the city was too expensive yesterday? Really? Because I would rather have them out of my way than buying us lunch.

And did I mention that Celia has poreless skin (whereas I am currently in hormone hell) and is a size 0.