Showing posts with label the sads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the sads. Show all posts

12/28/2012

Like Gravity on Jupiter

I got nothing.

Obviously, with my lack of posting and all. How are you?

There's a lot of stuff that I don't want to think about right now, to be honest. And I find it really hard to type with my head buried in the proverbial sand. Or up my ass. Proverbially. Whatever.

I miss blogging when I don't write. I miss my blogging community. I miss all four of my wonderful readers. So. Look, here's a list of stuff I haven't wanted to tell you about:

1. A wonderful band member died. I will be honoring her memory in a later post.

2. Some dear friends are very worried about the health of family members. There's absolutely nothing I can do or say because it's probably not going to be okay. And that makes my heart hurt for them.

3. We've had some major financial setbacks. Again. Things could turn out for the better, or we could be living in a trailer on my in-laws' rural Kansas property before you know it.

4. Newtown, in addition to heart break and tears, has given me reminders of things I'd rather forget. When I was teaching, I had this crazed parent. Who made threats. Against me. While I was 8 months pregnant with Lovebug. I had plan about hiding my students in the closet, blankets and a hammer stashed near the window in case I had time to get them out. I pretended to be just fine about everything, because that's what I do. And things did turn out fine. Except for the sads I seem to be having.

But!

I know that I am so very, very blessed. Part of my avoidance has also been in pursuit of a wonderful Christmas, which we had. Another part of the avoidance has been this family history project I'm doing, which has been terribly interesting. So the sads aren't winning, they're just dragging me down.

It's like trying to dance on Jupiter. You can still do it, but the gravitational pull makes it a hell of a lot harder.