Pop Culture Thursday: Looming Ahead

Which one of you bitches* invented the rainbow loom?

Because I hate you, unless you'd like to give me some money from what I'm sure is your now-vast fortune.

I bought our loom on a whim this summer, after another mom had mentioned it to me and I was buying a birthday party gift at store where they were stacked up by the register. Ironflower took to it immediately, but the boys - while happy to wear the bracelets - have yet to try to make any. At first, I didn't mind the loom - how could you mind something that was quiet and helped fine motor skills?

But then, then the little rubber bands spilled.

Have you ever tried to pick up (approximately) 1000 rubber bands?

And those little fuckers are slippery - leave one out and you'll wind up sliding across your kitchen floor one morning. So of course, we bought a rubber band holder at Five Below. And then we needed more rubber bands, because the glittery tie dye ones were just soooooo cute!

They are cute. Also, just as slippery.

The finished bracelets aren't slippery, I'll give them that. But when they invariably wind up on the floor (everything in my house eventually winds up on the floor), stepping on one feels. . .well, the way it squished under my flip flop I was sure that we'd suddenly had a roach infestation and I had just stepped on one. I may have screamed. (In my defense, in college our apartment really did go through several roach infestations - because of the people who shared our wall, I swear - and I may have a little roach-related PTSD).

Has the Rainbow Loom hit your neighborhood yet? I never thought I'd long for those Tamagotchis
that were the rage when I first started teaching, but at least they didn't leave little pieces that you could step on. Of course, random beeping can get annoying as well.





*I am mangling a quote from the ultimate trashy novel of my youth, Lace. In it, one character asks, "Which one of you bitches is my mother?" That line has been stuck in my head for over 25 years. I try to use a variation of it whenever possible. I don't know why people think I'm so hostile.

A Party of Two

So I was supposed to host a party this month. It was supposed to be for boys Lovebug's age, which would make up for the fashion thing Ironflower did last fall and I figured I could smuggle in a friend of HugMonkey's as well.

Except.

We got stuck in Florida. Then there was scheduling. Then there was illness. Then I was freaking late to turn in my blog post, which was due Friday.

So. I did not get to have an Xtreme Customz by Ridemakerz Party yet, but I am writing my blog post anyway. Because the ladies at Mommy Parties are super understanding and kind. And because my boys would have lost their minds if "the car box" had gotten mailed back.

So Xtreme Customz are toy cars that your kids can build themselves.

It took 7 year old Lovebug about 30 seconds to figure everything out and not much longer to build his car. Um, it took me considerably longer to figure things out well enough to help Hugmonkey. In fact, Hot Guy was the one who built Hugmonkey's car. It took him longer than it took Lovebug, though.

Clearly, 7 is the perfect age for these things. But both boys happily embraced playing with their cars.

The coolest thing is that the parts are interchangeable from one car to another so they can really customize them, over and over again.

Actually, no, the coolest thing is that a set costs $9.99. When the two most popular toys in your house are American Girl and Lego, anything that's reasonably priced is welcomed. Things that are reasonably priced and entertaining even more so.

Full disclosure: I got these for free, courtesy of the saints at Mommy Parties and XTreme Customz.  And some more, which I will be giving out when I get to have my party. Except for the one the boys commandeered for their sister.

Don't It Make Our Old Toys New?

In college I baby-sat for this family with toddler twins. The mom was a very nice earth mother type, but I was always glad I didn't baby-sit for them full time. She was against baby wipes, so the kids were cleaned with cotton balls dipped in water.

One bad lunch reaction could mean going through an entire giant bag of cotton balls. This is why - even though I'm not a fan of chemicals and whatnot - I never wavered in my commitment to using baby wipes. It was impossible to change those kids quickly. Or neatly.

She also believed that her kids' toys should be rearranged during their nap times. As an enthusiastic college student, I loved this. It was fun setting up their toys in creative ways. I remember doing this early on with Ironflower and even Lovebug, but I'm afraid it only happened a few times for Hugmonkey. I know I didn't even think about it once Hugmonkey was old enough to notice what Ironflower and Lovebug were playing with and want the same things.
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But an odd thing has happened since I rearranged the living room a few days ago. I made a dedicated play area and suddenly my kids are playing with all of their toys again. Toys I thought they'd outgrown. Toys I was thinking about donating. Toys I was slightly ticked that we'd wasted so much money on. They have not cared one bit that we've been stuck inside a lot, awaiting the thunderstorms of doom.

It is freaking awesome.

Apparently the whole rearrange the toys trick works on big kids as well. I'm thinking I'll rearrange the play area again in another week or so. I'm wondering if I should go back and read old posts to learn some more parenting tricks that I've forgotten. 

Pishew You!

Even though Hot Guy grew up around guns and hunting, we've avoided the gun issue as parents of young children. Why teach them about guns before they were ready to learn gun safety? In fact, my kids didn't know what guns were until they went to preschool.

Then Lovebug came home shooting things.

He points his arm out and says, "Pishew! Pishew!" to indicate that he's gotten us. He doesn't call it shooting, he calls it , "Pishewing". He calls the things he makes out of Legos his "Pishewers". And we avoid the "g" word, because I don't think guns should be thought of as toys. But I also don't want to stop what appears to be some sort of instinctive male tendency.

Then we met the boys with guns.

Not much older than Lovebug's 3, the boys carried water guns as tall as they were. They carried them into my parents' town pool after the following directions from their mothers, "Shoot away from people, boys." One boy found that boring and put the gun by his mother's chair. The other also found that boring, but his solution was to shoot at people. People like my Lovebug.

Lovebug, being a lover and not a fighter - as well as no fan of the water, came running to me in tears. I said the boy was mean and to stay away from him. Lovebug, Ironflower and my mom built a sandcastle. The boy came over to shoot it with his water gun. Why? I don't know. I loudly told him to stop and go away. I had to stand up and loom over him for it to work.

His mother did not notice. She did not notice a strange woman practically yelling at her son. She did not notice when he shot other kids in the face. She did not notice when he tripped over the large gun. She did not notice anything until he blasted her with water. Then she told him to stop. Twenty times.

And I stood there wondering, do toy guns make kids aggressive? Or do aggressive kids want toy guns? And what kind of IDIOT lets her son loose with a giant water gun at the crowded kiddie pool? And should I go say something to her?

What are your thoughts about toy guns?

Lucky F**kin' Ducks

Ironflower got a belated birthday present. I'm sure the gift was given in good faith. I'm fairly sure this person's child did not receive the same gift for his birthday and that this person didn't take one look at it and decide to regift it. But even if she did, I totally understand why.

Ironflower received a game called "Lucky Ducks". It requires batteries. Unfortunately, we actually had the batteries. So Ironflower has been playing the game since yesterday. Lovebug and I have even played with her. The game is simple enough that she can play by herself or with her brother (without fighting). It's a bit educational. But what it mostly is, is loud. The ducks quack throughout the ENTIRE game.

Which means that while Ironflower entertains herself for an hour - which is fantastic - the ducks quack for that entire hour. Which is not fantastic. In fact, it's so annoying that I'm kinda hoping that the game breaks. Normally I can ignore - some would say all too easily - the noises my children and their toys make. But the mechanic quacking is DRIVING ME INSANE. And it's not just me.

This afternoon Lovebug got up and ran away during a Lucky Ducks game. The conversation that ensued was illuminating:

Ironflower: Where are you going? The game's not over.
Lovebug: NO! NO! NO DUCKS! I PLAY TRAINS!!!!!! NO DUCKS!

And ChunkyMonkey, who normally sleeps peacefully during the screams, shouts and thuds of his siblings, woke up when the Lucky Ducks game came on.

I'm telling you, these quacks are possibly the most annoying sound on the planet.How wrong would it be if the game disappeared suddenly? Or ran out of batteries?

And what the hell should I write in the thank-you note?