Teaching Tuesday: Prepare Your Preschooler For Kindergarten

I know it's January, which means that most of your kids won't be starting kindergarten for 7 or 8 months. Shout out to my 4 Australian readers, whose kids start school next month, I think. The earlier you start prepping though, the better. (Sorry, Australians.)

If you've had your kid in a good preschool or daycare, you shouldn't have to do a lot. But my definition of good is not necessarily everyone's definition, nor is it usually applicable to the most prestigious one. Good preschools should be a lot more about socializing and self-care than about learning to read and homework. (Oh yeah, there are preschools that give homework. It is horrifying.)

Life Skills Your Kiddo Needs Before Kindergarten

• Bathroom skills. The kindergarten teacher is not coming into the bathroom, nor is s/he going to do any wiping or clothes adjustment. Painful and potentially messy as it may be, you've got to get your kid totally bathroom-independent before kindergarten.
• Clothing skills. Does your preschooler wait for you to take his jacket off for him? Does she never carry her own backpack? Start fixing that as soon as possible. Before kindergarten, you want your kid to be able to put on and remove her own coat, as well as carry a backpack. Taking shoes on and off is good too. 
• Speaking skills. Chances are, your kid's kindergarten teacher is not going to be able to anticipate the needs of 20 different kids 100% of the time. So it's important for your kid to know how to ask for help politely. Role playing at home is one option, but it's probably more effective to have your kid practice talking to adults that aren't you. Have her ask the librarian for a particular book, or the waiter for more water, or a friend's parent for a snack. 
• Self-Control skills. Knowing how to wait her turn and how to handle frustrations without punching anyone will go a long, long way toward kindergarten success. If these are a real struggle for your kid, set up a reward system to improve that skill immediately. The kindergarten teacher will love you for it. 

I know that thanks to the Common Core, standardized testing and our high pressure culture, kindergarten has gotten rather academically intense. But trust me, your child will learn a lot better if he's not filled with anxiety about how to wipe himself or she's able to keep her hands to herself. However, if that's not enough for you - or your kid already has these skills (bless you, from teachers everywhere) - here are some academic suggestions as well:

• Be comfortable listening to and talking about stories. 
• Be able to write her name. It doesn't have to be great, but the teacher should be able to recognize it. I wouldn't push too much harder on the handwriting unless you use the exact same program and methodology as the kindergarten teacher will use. It's harder if a kid has to unlearn handwriting habits he got in preschool than if he just learns the teacher's way in the first place.
• Recognize all the colors.
• Be able to count to at least 10 and count objects to 5. 
• Recognize the shapes. 
• Be able to rhyme.
• Be able to recognize the beginning sounds in words. 
• Be able to recognize an AB pattern. 

Teaching Tuesday: So Your Kid's Starting School

When your kid starts school, it's perfectly normal to freak out about it. Especially if your child is going from the cozy, small and familiar preschool or day care to the huge elementary school, for example.

I once had a first grader who'd never been to school before (I think - and this may have changed, but back in the day, Kansas did not require kids to go to kindergarten). And her mom was worried. The worry just oozed out of her. The little girl had never been to any kind of school or day care before, plus she started the school year late. Her parents were freaked out. She spent the entire first day trying to escape from my classroom. Which might not have been so bad, except that at the time I was teaching in an open concept building - I only had walls on 3 sides of my classroom. AND the stairs were right by my open wall. I actually caught the girl by her ankle a few times, as she sprinted up the stairs to the office where her parents were lingering.

The next day her parents put her on the bus with her cousin and she didn't try to escape once. In fact, she turned out to be a really funny kid and I was thrilled that she'd joined our class.

I'm not suggesting that you send your kid to school with a cousin on the first day, exactly. But I am saying, the more worried you are, the more worried your kid will be. You want to cry about your baby going to kindergarten? Do it in the car after you've said good-bye, not while you're dropping him off. You're worried that your kid will have a terrible time? Hide it.

Above are a few first day of school pictures from the past couple of years. You'll notice that no one is crying. Though Hugmonkey's final look is a bit pathetic, it was because he noticed me tearing up after I thought he was safely entering the classroom. I screwed up, people. He sensed my whole, "My youngest is in preschool daily now, oh my gosh, he's growing up," ambivalence and he started to freak out. Fortunately, I am an accomplished liar and convinced him it was allergies. He went in happily after that.

Look, if you're sending your kid to preschool or kindergarten or even first grade, I promise you the teacher is used to handling new school angst. And unless you're stuck sending your kid somewhere dreadful, the teacher will probably be better at handling crying kids than you are.

But if you'd like to maximize your kid's chances of having a good day, there are a few things you can do:

• Visit the classroom beforehand. Call the school and find out a good time to visit the classroom and meet the teacher before school starts. 
• Find other kids going into the same class and try to arrange a park play date or something. 
• Reinforce independent skills - for preschoolers, make sure your kiddo knows how to ask for help and how to ask to go to the bathroom. For kindergarten, make sure your kid can put on his coat and backpack, manage her clothes in the restroom and manipulate his lunch/snack foods and drinks.
• Read some books - Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes is my favorite, but there's the Miss Bindergarten series, The Night Before First Grade, David Goes to School by David Shannon and Timothy Goes to School are all good for nervous little ones. 
• Turn the first day into a holiday - have a special breakfast, pick out a new outfit together, give a little present (like a new book) or otherwise make it a celebratory occasion. 

What suggestions do you have? And what ideas do you have for starting middle school? Ironflower will be starting at a 4 - 8 school next year and I am rather terrified.