Fair enough.
So, your kid has to do his homework. How can you make that happen without wanting to commit grievous bodily harm on yourself, your kid and/or the teacher?
The first thing to realize is that you can't. You set up the right conditions, you can have expectations, you can even have rewards and consequences in place, but ultimately homework is your kid's problem. Do not, under any circumstances, do it for her. The teacher does not give a shit if you know how to multiple double digit numbers, okay? S/he wants to see if your kid can. And if your kid can't, it's best if the teacher finds that out as soon as possible. Preferably by looking at your kid's homework. Your job is to check that your kid completed the assignment and followed the directions (such as multiplying the numbers, not adding them).
The teacher does also not need a note from you written on the homework explaining why little Bobby couldn't/wouldn't do it. If your kid really can't complete that night's homework because of some valid reason (death in the family, zombie horde attack), then write a note or email to the teacher explaining the issue and have your kid turn in the homework the next day.
Now, even though I'm not a fan of homework, I am a fan of school consequences for not doing it. Basically because if the teacher doesn't make kids accountable for their homework, they're not going to feel like they need to be accountable for any other work that s/he assigns. As for home front, I'm more of a believer in privileges. Like, no computer/TV/DS/phone/Kindle/Legos/soccer until the homework is done. It's a lot hard to pull them away from the Wii to do homework than it is to get them to hurry through their homework to get to the Wii (not that I know this from personal experience, cough cough).
If your kid knows there's no fun until the homework is done, there will (probably) be less arguing about it. If your kid knows that you're not going to do it for him, there will (probably) be less whining about it. Eventually.
And if you have all the supplies that your kid could possibly need already gathered in one place, there will be less time wasted searching for a red marker or whatever.
Another way to beat homework frustration is to stop sitting by your kid while she works. Unless he's supposed to being read out loud to you or something, leave him to his own devices. Sure, she may waste time. And it's more likely that he'll misread the directions, or have messy handwriting. And that's okay. If you're talking her through every step of the way, she'll never learn to do it for herself. Plus, you are much less likely to want to beat your head against the wall as you tell him to focus on his work for the 487th time.
One other thing that seems to be working for us (and may not work on older kids, I've never actually assigned to work to any kids older than fourth grade and my oldest is only in third) is the separation of reading and homework. As in, even if they are required to read for 20 minutes every night (as Ironflower was last year and Lovebug will be soon), I don't make them do that on top of their homework. They do the homework, have the fun activity and then at bedtime we start the reading. We've always read for fun before bed anyway, so it doesn't seem so much like work - and now Ironflower often goes off to read just for fun. She usually reads more than 20 minutes a day, actually. Another time we squeeze in reading is at breakfast, because I am not a morning person and the less I have to talk in the morning the better.
What are your homework strategies?
Now, even though I'm not a fan of homework, I am a fan of school consequences for not doing it. Basically because if the teacher doesn't make kids accountable for their homework, they're not going to feel like they need to be accountable for any other work that s/he assigns. As for home front, I'm more of a believer in privileges. Like, no computer/TV/DS/phone/Kindle/Legos/soccer until the homework is done. It's a lot hard to pull them away from the Wii to do homework than it is to get them to hurry through their homework to get to the Wii (not that I know this from personal experience, cough cough).
If your kid knows there's no fun until the homework is done, there will (probably) be less arguing about it. If your kid knows that you're not going to do it for him, there will (probably) be less whining about it. Eventually.
And if you have all the supplies that your kid could possibly need already gathered in one place, there will be less time wasted searching for a red marker or whatever.
I love a good caddy. They're nice and portable. But if your kid has a desk in a quiet area, that works too.
One other thing that seems to be working for us (and may not work on older kids, I've never actually assigned to work to any kids older than fourth grade and my oldest is only in third) is the separation of reading and homework. As in, even if they are required to read for 20 minutes every night (as Ironflower was last year and Lovebug will be soon), I don't make them do that on top of their homework. They do the homework, have the fun activity and then at bedtime we start the reading. We've always read for fun before bed anyway, so it doesn't seem so much like work - and now Ironflower often goes off to read just for fun. She usually reads more than 20 minutes a day, actually. Another time we squeeze in reading is at breakfast, because I am not a morning person and the less I have to talk in the morning the better.
What are your homework strategies?
3 comments:
I handle homework pretty much the same way you do. (Except I do tend to hover a bit. And sometimes I add work. For example, Julia has a science test coming up and I wanted to be sure she was studying and not just staring at her study guide, so I had her make flash cards for her vocab words and a chart for the lab supplies list. I used to print practice sheets for her math facts when she was freaking out about timed tests last year. Stuff like that.) Homework comes first - then playtime and extracurricular activities. I handle reading time the same way you do because we read for fun, too. I've actually never had to make Julia read for 20 minutes. She does it on her own and then some. Now and then, I'll ask her to read to her siblings, but that's usually to help me out.
At the end of the day, my kids are responsible for doing their homework. I make sure they get it done and that they understood what they did.
At back to school night, I would always ask the question, "Do you want the parent to review the homework and have the student find and correct any wrong answers or do you want to them to hand in the paper with incorrect answers? Amazing how you'll get different responses from teachers! Also ask about larger project assignments. Are they expecting the parents to help? When my girls would bring in something that they proudly did on their own and then saw what their classmates brought in (masterpieces done by a parent,)you could clearly see the playing field was not level! So I suggest you ask both of these questions at Back to School so ALL THE PARENTS hear the teacher's response at the same time!
@Leslie - I like the added study ideas! Will have to try those.
@Cynthia - OOooh, I never had a parent ask me that and I've never thought to ask - that is a fantastic idea. Thanks for the tip!
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