Dear Future Dance Mom

Dear Future Dance Mom,

     Five years ago, I was you. It felt weird, putting lipstick on my little girl and leaving her backstage with acquaintances at best. For three hours. At least. The whole recital process seemed so daunting. My little girl kept saying that dance was hard work. I was worried that I was some kind of pushy stage mom. I thought maybe we should quit. Of course, when I picked her up from the recital, all she could talk about was how much fun she had had backstage. In fact, she may have enjoyed that part even more than being on stage.
      And every year, even as we did gymnastics and theater and swimming and Irish Dance and beading and soccer, she wanted to keep taking dance. I think, some years, it was just because she loved her teacher. But that was okay. I think dance is a lifelong exercise option, like swimming and martial arts, so I was happy that she was doing it, whatever the reason. Each year, the recital got less daunting. I realized that the backstage volunteers were not only watching my kid, they were rooting for her. I noticed how the older girls encouraged the younger ones. I noticed my kid being excited as she mastered each new step and stretch.
      Suddenly this year I was the one introducing myself to moms of little girls, assuring them I would help with tap shoes and snacks and bathroom breaks during one of the recitals. Suddenly I was not only proud of my kiddo in her numerous dances, I was impressed by her skills. Suddenly I was not only entrusting my daughter's care to all these fabulous backstage moms and friends, I was entrusting her many costume changes, hair styles and make up looks. And it was great.
     But I do have a few tips, or suggestions, on how to prepare for becoming a dance mom. Especially if you think your daughter may want to join a dance team or company in the next couple of years:

• Learn to sew. I will never forgive myself for taking graphic arts instead of sewing in junior high. Sure, it SOUNDED cooler and more feminist, but no one has asked me to silkscreen anything in the last 30 years. Can't say the same about sewing. 
• Just start carrying safety pins and Advil in your purse now. You'll thank me later.
• Perfect a completely neutral facial expression in front of a mirror. Now make sure you can use it when you're terribly nervous or filled with anxiety. 
• Start socking money away for dance gear, especially shoes. So many different kinds of shoes. 

                                                                                                  Sincerely,

                                                                                           A Current Dance Mom