Evolution 2015

I always write a New Year's post. Always being a relative term - I only checked for the last two years. So I know I wrote a New Year's post in 2012 and another in 2013. 

I stopped checking for older New Year's posts because I knew they wouldn't be as good as those two. 

I really like those two posts. 

(It feels weird typing that. Not sure if the weirdness is from how rarely I like what I've written or from how rarely I admit it.)

Anyway, I'm still a big fan of small, actionable steps instead of huge goals. Also, the older I get, the more I feel the need to cherish the moment and to find the joy in each day. 

For many years, "love myself more" was one of my New Year's resolutions. But it never occurred to me to have "love my friends/parents/spouse/kids" as a New Year's resolution. It's not that I've ever been a perfect friend, child, wife or mom, either. It's that I knew my imperfections with my loved ones weren't because I didn't love them enough, but because I needed better strategies to cope with stress or I needed to be more expressive or whatever. 

And I've finally realized that the same thing is true with myself. I do love myself. I just don't know how to do it in the best way. I haven't paid attention; I use the same strategies I used 15 years ago. Except they're not making me feel better anymore. 

 Evolution is my word for 2015. 

I always wind up screwing up resolutions anyway. Even last year's, which were designed to be attainable. I didn't take my writing more seriously, I didn't teach the kids how to make me the perfect gin and tonic and I didn't even cut my damn hair. 

But mainly, because my relationship with myself needs to evolve. Sure, I love myself. Sure, I try to practice self-care when I'm stressed out. My problem is that my self-care strategies are habits, not joys. 

Also, to be honest, my relationship with blogging and writing needs to evolve too. As does my relationship with exercise, because it can't just be about reading on the elliptical anymore. 

I'm not going to write all of my small, actionable steps here (aren't you relieved?) but I do promise to check back in with my progress. At least on December 31st, 2015. 

So, do you have a word for 2015? Or some resolutions? Or do you skip over this aspect of the holiday? 

Attainability 2014!

Like most people, I suck at keeping noble New Year's resolutions. If you read anything about making changes in your life, you know that making small, attainable steps is the way to create real change. But you can't tell that from people's typical resolution lists; lose weight, stress less, take up yoga, bring about world peace. . . . . I mean, those aren't small, actionable steps. Which is why normal people typically give up on their resolutions before Valentine's Day.

But not me. Not this year. I have chosen a small, actionable step for each of my 2014 resolutions. If I can accomplish these smaller tasks, then I will have kept my New Year's resolutions and next year I can be all smug* about how I kept my resolutions in 2014.


1. Bring about world peace - I will stop fighting with Phil Robertson fans on Twitter. Less fighting = more peace, right?

2. Lose weight - I will cut my hair soon. I have really thick hair, so I'm relatively sure this will help me lose at least 5 pounds.

3. Become more fit - I will use headphones and watch TV on my phone instead of reading while I'm at the gym, because I always slow down when I'm reading something good.

4. Stress less - I will block the Phil Robertson fans on Twitter, so I don't even have to resist the temptation to fight with them. That's almost as good as meditation, right?

5. Be more patient with my children - I will have a cocktail every night while they're doing their homework.

6. Spend more quality time with my children - I will teach them how to make me the perfect gin and tonic.

7. Be more organized - I will add an "organization" board to Pinterest.

8. Practice self-care regularly - I will stop watching Fox News when I'm at the gym.

9. Save more money - I will stop checking Zulily and ThredUp when I don't actually need something.

10. Take my writing more seriously - I will stop describing my part-time profession as, "writing crap on the internet".

What are your resolutions this year?


*And then in 2015 I can work on being less smug, which really can't be that hard, right? It's like I've set myself up for TWO years of resolution success. I'm a genius! But I won't be a smug one after 2015, I promise. 

Today I'm Gonna. . .

Happy New Year's Eve.

As I mentioned in my last post, my Bandmate Misty died on Christmas Eve. To get a real picture of Misty, you can look at The Band's tribute or her blog, One Day I'm Gonna. Misty died way too soon and even though we weren't close, it hurts my heart that she's gone. Not long before I read the email about Misty, while in the throes of my family history project, I realized that my father's mother died when she was 41. Like I am now. I mean, I always knew that she died way too young, but I didn't realize that she was my age.

Originally, this post was going to be entitled, "One Day I'm Gonna" and I was going to write a tribute to Misty by listing all the things I'd like to do one day. I think that's a lovely idea, don't get me wrong. But my head is always filled with all these things I'd like to do one day. I'm fantastic at dreaming, but not so great at living. So instead, I give you:

Today I'm Gonna:

Notice the sunset

Give my kids extra hugs
Hold my husband's hand
Meditate
Exercise
Write
Say thank you
Not take things personally
Be more patient
Read
Drink Champagne

What are you going to do today? Or one day?

Does This Sound Child Friendly to You?

We've been invited to a "child-friendly" New Year's Eve party. Aside from the fact that we have the whole "we don't have car access in KC" issue, we're still not going to the party.

To me, a "child-friendly" party is one that is either geared to children or one where the hosts provide a babysitter and and a blocked off playroom. To this particular crowd of Hubby's friends, however, a "child-friendly" party means one where everyone is bringing their kids. And that's it. There's nothing special for the kids to do. There's no one assigned to watch the children. The children are just there.

They thought that they offended me last summer, when I left a barbecue (that was rapidly turning into a party) at 8:00pm. They didn't understand about missing out on a party just to get my children home so that my toddlers could go to bed on time.

Maybe it's because their kids are all older than mine. Maybe it's because they all had their kids younger than I did. Maybe they just find it easier to drink in front of their kids than I do. I don't know.

I just know that I prefer to party when my kids are tucked safely in their beds, watched over by someone who is NOT partying. What about you?