Shame, as we all know, is a negative emotion. And negativity is bad, right? So I'm going to stop feeling ashamed of my deep love for the following. . .
Degrassi; The Next Generation. Sure, I was old enough to watch the original (which I did regularly) but that doesn't mean it's shameful to love the one aimed at today's teenagers, right? And yesterday's. The show's been around for 13 years now. I haven't kept up the past couple of seasons, but that'll just make it more exciting when I force my kids to watch it with me in a few years. Besides, if Vulture talks about it, it can't be that uncool.
Lamebook. Where everyone is just making fun of stuff that idiot-type people put on Facebook. It's probably bad to be so entertained by something so mean, but I can't help it.
Planet Hiltron. I originally discovered Danny Evans from the compilation of his celebrity makeunder photos on Loffee. You might say I'm obsessed with them.
Thredup. Basically, you can go here and buy barely used (trust me, they are STRICT) clothes for kids and women. Some of the stuff still has tags, even. You can also mail in barely used clothes and shoes and get paid (or buy stuff in bigger sizes, which is what I do). Lovebug put it this way, "I used to not really like it when you bought me shirts before, but now you get me cool ones." If you use my link, you get $10 off your first order!
XOJane. If you ever read Jane magazine, then you can sort of imagine the web site. Some of the articles are really interesting and even well thought out, but their titles can be such link bait.
Saltines. I have actually dreamt about saltines with butter on them, which is what I used to eat whenever I was sick as a kid. Or sometimes when I wasn't sick. Okay, and I occasionally ate them for dinner when I had my first apartment in college. Oh my god, I want one right now.
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
7/12/2013
8/28/2012
Not Exactly Advice
Okay, so I don't usually give parenting advice on the blog. Unless it's for celebrities. Because clearly, most of them need my help. (Quick tip for Snooki: Don't spray tan your child until he asks for it. And enjoy those baby years, they fly by so fast!) I'm not going to feel qualified to give a lot of parenting advice until my children are all happy, well-adjusted, successful adults. If you're of the same opinion, don't think of it as advice. Think of it as a cautionary tale.
Ironflower's best friend is J. Ironflower and J have been buddies since they met in dance class as 4 year olds. J's mom manages a lovely house, 5 kids and does stuff like take classes at the local college and compete in mixed martial arts. She is way cooler than I am, obviously. But I always consoled myself that she was able to do so many things because she had this wonderful babysitter to help with the kids.
A wonderful babysitter, vetted by an agency, who'd been with the family for years and really seemed to care about the kids. Hell, she seemed to care about my kids too. She even offered to babysit for my kids when she wasn't working for J's family and I had plans to take her up on it for a night out or three.
Except she appears to have disappeared. With cash and J's mom's jewelry. Oh, and even the kids' Nintendo DSes. She stole from the kids she spent the last 3 years caring for.
And the kicker? She did it to her previous employers too. The nanny agency didn't really do a background check on her at all.
At least she didn't hurt the kids. . .except by this total betrayal. J's mom did everything right and this still happened. It totally sucks.
When I was a nanny during college, I worked for a family whose previous nanny had abused one of the kids. They hired me because I was a close friend of a close friend who liked the kids, because after that experience with the nanny agency hire, they didn't trust an agency again.
Since then, I've heard other stories about bad babysitters. Or I've seen them at the park, completely ignoring the kids. (To be fair, though, I've seen parents doing that too.) My kids have been mostly babysat by their grandparents, though we did have some good friends watch Ironflower when she was a baby. Having a regular nanny or babysitter has never been a financial option for us, but even if it was, I'm not sure I could do it now.
Look, I know there are great nannies and babysitters out there. I've seen them at their charges' birthday parties and soccer games. I was one, I like to think. But if you can't even trust a nanny agency to find you one that's not a criminal. . .
Be careful, folks.
(Especially you, Snooki.)
Ironflower's best friend is J. Ironflower and J have been buddies since they met in dance class as 4 year olds. J's mom manages a lovely house, 5 kids and does stuff like take classes at the local college and compete in mixed martial arts. She is way cooler than I am, obviously. But I always consoled myself that she was able to do so many things because she had this wonderful babysitter to help with the kids.
A wonderful babysitter, vetted by an agency, who'd been with the family for years and really seemed to care about the kids. Hell, she seemed to care about my kids too. She even offered to babysit for my kids when she wasn't working for J's family and I had plans to take her up on it for a night out or three.
Except she appears to have disappeared. With cash and J's mom's jewelry. Oh, and even the kids' Nintendo DSes. She stole from the kids she spent the last 3 years caring for.
And the kicker? She did it to her previous employers too. The nanny agency didn't really do a background check on her at all.
At least she didn't hurt the kids. . .except by this total betrayal. J's mom did everything right and this still happened. It totally sucks.
When I was a nanny during college, I worked for a family whose previous nanny had abused one of the kids. They hired me because I was a close friend of a close friend who liked the kids, because after that experience with the nanny agency hire, they didn't trust an agency again.
Since then, I've heard other stories about bad babysitters. Or I've seen them at the park, completely ignoring the kids. (To be fair, though, I've seen parents doing that too.) My kids have been mostly babysat by their grandparents, though we did have some good friends watch Ironflower when she was a baby. Having a regular nanny or babysitter has never been a financial option for us, but even if it was, I'm not sure I could do it now.
Look, I know there are great nannies and babysitters out there. I've seen them at their charges' birthday parties and soccer games. I was one, I like to think. But if you can't even trust a nanny agency to find you one that's not a criminal. . .
Be careful, folks.
(Especially you, Snooki.)
8/17/2012
This Is Probably What Mildred Pierce Was So Worried About
Can we just talk about Honey Boo Boo for a minute?
It probably doesn't help that I caught a few minutes of the show after watching the first episode of the Mildred Pierce miniseries from HBO. In it, Mildred has too much pride to ask her ex for financial support (or to stick around) and is so ashamed of being a waitress that she won't tell her kids about what she is doing for a living.
Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum.
Even if you account for the fact that Mildred's story is fictional and takes place in the early 1930's,
I was really uncomfortable with Mildred. When it comes to feeding my kids and getting them other stuff they need, I don't have a lot of pride. I would do any job, if I had to. Being a waitress might not be as impressive as being a neurosurgeon, but it's hard, honest work. Why be ashamed of hard work? Only criminals should be ashamed to tell their kids how they put food on the table, right?
And yet, I also felt uncomfortable watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Obviously, these people have no shame about putting their children on national television. . .or weighing them on national television. . .or having subtitles put under their comments because their accents are so thick. And maybe if I had 4 kids to feed and one of them was 17 and pregnant I'd be happy to get paid to live my life on television too. Hell, I'd think about it twice now, and I've only got 3 kids.
But as I watched them all eat Cheese Curls for breakfast, I just cringed. And it's not like I'm the poster child for healthy eating. I mean, I have eaten Cheese Curls for breakfast. Just not in front of my children or on national television. I felt shame for eating Cheese Curls for breakfast. I feel shame when I feed my kids fast food or my house is messy or whatever. There is not a time in my life - even when I wore a size 4 (which I did for quite a while) - that I would have been so comfortable that I would have let anyone weigh me on national television.
Too much shame is toxic. Obviously. But um, does that mean we should have no shame at all? For anything? Did Honey Boo Boo's family make me uncomfortable because I was jealous of their shame free lives?
What this probably means is that I should stop watching so much television.*
*Not that I'm ashamed of that or anything.
It probably doesn't help that I caught a few minutes of the show after watching the first episode of the Mildred Pierce miniseries from HBO. In it, Mildred has too much pride to ask her ex for financial support (or to stick around) and is so ashamed of being a waitress that she won't tell her kids about what she is doing for a living.
Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum.
Even if you account for the fact that Mildred's story is fictional and takes place in the early 1930's,
I was really uncomfortable with Mildred. When it comes to feeding my kids and getting them other stuff they need, I don't have a lot of pride. I would do any job, if I had to. Being a waitress might not be as impressive as being a neurosurgeon, but it's hard, honest work. Why be ashamed of hard work? Only criminals should be ashamed to tell their kids how they put food on the table, right?
And yet, I also felt uncomfortable watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Obviously, these people have no shame about putting their children on national television. . .or weighing them on national television. . .or having subtitles put under their comments because their accents are so thick. And maybe if I had 4 kids to feed and one of them was 17 and pregnant I'd be happy to get paid to live my life on television too. Hell, I'd think about it twice now, and I've only got 3 kids.
But as I watched them all eat Cheese Curls for breakfast, I just cringed. And it's not like I'm the poster child for healthy eating. I mean, I have eaten Cheese Curls for breakfast. Just not in front of my children or on national television. I felt shame for eating Cheese Curls for breakfast. I feel shame when I feed my kids fast food or my house is messy or whatever. There is not a time in my life - even when I wore a size 4 (which I did for quite a while) - that I would have been so comfortable that I would have let anyone weigh me on national television.
Too much shame is toxic. Obviously. But um, does that mean we should have no shame at all? For anything? Did Honey Boo Boo's family make me uncomfortable because I was jealous of their shame free lives?
What this probably means is that I should stop watching so much television.*
*Not that I'm ashamed of that or anything.
2/19/2010
Will Power; Not One of My Super Powers
The chances of my exercising will power are about as good as the chances of my exercising an ability to fly. It's just not going to happen, not above and beyond the will power I already exercise to get out of bed each morning and deal somewhat cheerfully with dressing, entertaining and feeding 3 small children while also writing an article or two. And doing a zillion dishes, because we just can't swing a new dishwasher right now. And sweeping up after the toddler. And you know, just dealing with crap.
So the chocolate gets eaten. The Lexulous gets played. And the TV gets watched. And watched. And watched.
Then I have a moment where I wish I had exercised more will power. Not when my 5 year old daughter is re-enacting RuPaul's Drag Race. Not when my almost 4 year old son recognizes Stewie from Family Guy. But when I catch myself watching Private Practice.
For those of you with lives, taste and will power, I will summarize. Private Practice is a spin-off of Grey's Anatomy, only the characters are even more fucked up. And every week there's a dead kid.
Seriously, every week some guest character's kid dies and I get all depressed. Yet I watch the show anyway. WHY? WHY? Is it really that important for me to witness Addison sleeping with every male character on the show? Is my crush on Taye Diggs that big? Am I secretly trying to harm myself? Will I start popping Vicodin next?
Why in the hell am I watching this show?
I don't even know anyone else who watches it, at least not who watches it avidly enough to discuss it (because seriously, Addison, why are you sleeping with Violet's guy when you wouldn't date Naomi's? Why? Why?). So keeping up with discussions doesn't excuse watching the show.
It must be that I don't have the will power to stop.
Is there a support group for this? Because, after last night's dying newborn debacle, I am SO ashamed that I watch this show. Yet I know I'll tune in next week, cursing myself all the while.
Do you have any shows you watch despite your shame?
So the chocolate gets eaten. The Lexulous gets played. And the TV gets watched. And watched. And watched.
Then I have a moment where I wish I had exercised more will power. Not when my 5 year old daughter is re-enacting RuPaul's Drag Race. Not when my almost 4 year old son recognizes Stewie from Family Guy. But when I catch myself watching Private Practice.
For those of you with lives, taste and will power, I will summarize. Private Practice is a spin-off of Grey's Anatomy, only the characters are even more fucked up. And every week there's a dead kid.
Seriously, every week some guest character's kid dies and I get all depressed. Yet I watch the show anyway. WHY? WHY? Is it really that important for me to witness Addison sleeping with every male character on the show? Is my crush on Taye Diggs that big? Am I secretly trying to harm myself? Will I start popping Vicodin next?
Why in the hell am I watching this show?
I don't even know anyone else who watches it, at least not who watches it avidly enough to discuss it (because seriously, Addison, why are you sleeping with Violet's guy when you wouldn't date Naomi's? Why? Why?). So keeping up with discussions doesn't excuse watching the show.
It must be that I don't have the will power to stop.
Is there a support group for this? Because, after last night's dying newborn debacle, I am SO ashamed that I watch this show. Yet I know I'll tune in next week, cursing myself all the while.
Do you have any shows you watch despite your shame?
10/17/2009
My Secret Shame
Levi Johnston.
Deflowerer of a former governor's daughter. Teenage father. Hunter.
That's about all I know about Levi, despite having read several lengthy interviews with him. Oh, and he's going to be appearing in Playgirl soon (did you know that magazine was still being published online? I didn't). I really want to see that Playgirl. Because I think he's hot.
Sure, he pretty much stands for everything I hate - fame for nothing, ignorance, Palin Republicans - and sure, he seems pretty dumb (I've read the interviews, remember). And yes, I think he's somewhere around half my age (which I find icky, even if most men don't). But it doesn't matter. I still want to see the Playgirl.
He's not on my list because, well, it's embarrassing. Plus, the list is not just about hot. It's about like. And I do NOT like Levi Johnston. I just want to see him in his underwear.
Is that really weird? Do you have anyone you're ashamed to find attractive?
Deflowerer of a former governor's daughter. Teenage father. Hunter.
That's about all I know about Levi, despite having read several lengthy interviews with him. Oh, and he's going to be appearing in Playgirl soon (did you know that magazine was still being published online? I didn't). I really want to see that Playgirl. Because I think he's hot.
Sure, he pretty much stands for everything I hate - fame for nothing, ignorance, Palin Republicans - and sure, he seems pretty dumb (I've read the interviews, remember). And yes, I think he's somewhere around half my age (which I find icky, even if most men don't). But it doesn't matter. I still want to see the Playgirl.
He's not on my list because, well, it's embarrassing. Plus, the list is not just about hot. It's about like. And I do NOT like Levi Johnston. I just want to see him in his underwear.
Is that really weird? Do you have anyone you're ashamed to find attractive?
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