Valentine's Day Sucks

I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day.

As a child, I did not like my chocolate with "stuff" in it.

As an adolescent, I did not like never having a boyfriend on Valentine's Day and never getting one of those love carnations in homeroom.

As a college student, I did not like how every restaurant was crowded and over-priced, or how often I heard about how expensive roses are. And then there was the time I got the stomach flu on the way to a supposedly romantic getaway, so we spent the weekend at my parents' house instead.

And nothing was more awkward than dating during Valentine's Day season as a young adult. Or not dating, as I eventually decided to do.

In other words, I've almost always had sucky Valentine's Days.  And I can't help but think about all the people out there who are having sucky Valentine's Day each year. 

But I swear that's not the only reason I think V-Day sucks.

 I think it sucks because it's bullshit.

It's not that I object to gifts, going out to dinner or flowers as tokens of appreciation.

It's not that I automatically loathe all holidays - you should see me on Christmas.

But I hate the idea that romance is some performative bullshit that must involve flowers, jewelry and sappy cards given on a certain day of the year. Of course, I have weird ideas about what's romantic.

A friend of mine once dated a guy who got her tires rotated and all kinds of car maintenance done for on her birthday, just because he knew how much she hated dealing with all that stuff. I think that's way more romantic than giving her flowers and jewelry (especially if they look like the flowers and jewelry he gave to his last girlfriend on her birthday).

I'm a big fan of being specific in regards to romantic gestures. Which is basically the opposite of Valentine's Day.

I also think nurturing your relationship should happen on the regular, not on the one day that everyone else is doing it.

That's like being grateful for your blessings only on Thanksgiving. Definite recipe for unhappiness. 

I'm cool with Galentine's Day, though. Which was yesterday (coincidentally - or not coincidentally, right, universe? it's my grandma's birthday) but the thing about Galentine's Day is that you can celebrate it tomorrow, too. Or right now.

Wandering Wednesday: New Digs

Not everyone likes posing on my command. 

My mom managed to host Christmas dinner at her old house and New Year's dinner at her new one. Sure, we helped, but still. Today she's going in for her final surgery, so that maybe she can actually enjoy the next holiday dinner she hosts. If you could send some positive vibes her way, it'd be appreciated.

Happy Holidays!

This is better than any blog post I could ever write. Enjoy.

Merry Christmas Eve

For a lot of reasons, I did not send out holiday cards this year. Even though I so love getting them. Especially if they have pictures. So, as an apology (and an idea for a really short blog post), here's a digital card. Just for you.

One Fantastic Holiday Party

So yesterday last week we went to the KidzVuz Holiday party, because once in a while I finagle my way into cool blogging events. KidzVuz, btw, is a totally kid safe/friendly site filled with video reviews for kids, by kids. But they don't just have a great website, they know how to throw a great party (with help from sponsor Homewood Suites by Hilton - a favorite of ours when we are road tripping).

It was freaking awesome, except that I basically forgot to network with other bloggers. Like I'd see someone and I'd look at their Twitter handle on their nametag and I'd be all, wow, I follow that person,  I should say hi or something. And then I'd forget how to talk. Or one of the kids would distract me and then the person wouldn't be there anymore.

The child reading over my shoulder says, "What about that lady you hugged in the elevator? The Madonna lady?"

The Madonna lady, while another blogger,  does not count because I've known her since we were children and we used to prank call boys and play "Burning Up for Your Love" over the phone. Also, we may have taken turns throwing up into the same sink the first time we got drunk. That really helps me feel comfortable with a person, even if it's been 25 years (or so).

But even though I did not bond with  talk to meet other bloggers, the party was a resounding success. I did manage to talk to people from some really great brands and my kids told me it was the best party ever.

The kids got their own badges. Then they zeroed in on the candy table from iScream. 

There was sand candy art. 

Ironflower would like all of their cute products. 

Checking out Batterypop, which is like YouTube, but safe for kids. Such a great idea. 

 Next we ate lunch from Fairway Market. It was yummy, but none of my pictures turned out. I think I may need to invest in an actual camera - Sherry from Babypop (okay, I did manage to talk to one other blogger) said it was the best investment she ever made in her blog. 

We chatted with the folks from ESRB, who assign ratings to video games. Apparently Lovebug was already aware of the ratings and which ones he could play thanks to his gamer dad. 

My boys suddenly got shy when they had the opportunity to be interviewed on camera, but Ironflower stepped right up. 

Really clever activity books from DowntownBookworks.com were a big hit. 

They made "rockstar" cuffs. 

Hugmonkey enjoyed his all-fruit/no crap popsicle from ChloesFruit.com. Hot Guy loved the smoothies from GetGreenMustache.com. Somehow I forgot to get a picture of those, probably because we were chasing the kids down to the next set of toy displays. 

Lovebug LOVED the Tenkai Knights while we were at the party, while it took until later that evening (and his very own knight in the fantastic gift bag) for Hugmonkey to fall in love as well. Apparently they are from a show on Cartoon Network, but all my boys cared about were the building possibilities and ninja-type weaponry. Santa will be bringing more. 

Ironflower was not as into the Nerf Rebelle as I hope she would be. I think Hasbro did a great thing in developing girly bows and crossbows, but my girl does not (yet?) aspire to be Katniss Everdeen. Hasbro's Furby Booms were already on her Christmas list, though. It was all I could do to drag her away. 

Lovebug thoroughly enjoyed Nintendo's offerings. He tried one game alone on the balance board and then played Mario Party with a bunch of other equally smitten boys. 

Ironflower was waiting (impatiently) for her turn at Nintendo when she noticed an empty seat by the Samsung Galaxy Tab. The older kids played their video games for a very long time. And probably could have continued much longer, had Hot Guy and I not insisted on letting other children have a turn. 

Next we talked to the fun ladies from Fuzipop. One of their sons was the (very good) DJ for the party. He's NINE and already so much cooler than I am. Fuzipop hosts dance parties for kids 6 - 12 and their parents. I think I was so stunned by the coolness that I forgot to take a picture. 

This is what Hot Guy and the kids did (oh, and eat the cookies conveniently nearby) while I went to the Dermalogica area. They facemapped me, which was sort of intimidating in that my formerly lovely skin has gone to hell in a freight elevator the past couple of years, but the girl was really nice. And she gave me samples and suggestions and they have actually helped. So now Dermalogica is my favorite skincare brand. 

It was a great family adventure and I am SO GLAD we got to attend. If you ever get the chance to go to a KidzVuz event, or try  any of these products, GO FOR IT. 

Affordable Holiday Gift Ideas

I've never done a holiday gift guide. I never thought I was one of "those" bloggers. You know, those bloggers who know about cool toys and handmade sweaters and host giveaways of all their holiday favorites. So I still don't know about those things, and hosting more than one giveaway in a month is more than I can handle, but I do like shopping.

I obsessively curate my kids' Amazon wishlists, even though they never wind up with even close to all the stuff I have on there. Hell, I have a wishlist. And a separate book wishlist. Because books are special. I find the whole wishlist thing to be like retail therapy, except it doesn't require actual money.

It really suits our budget.

Thinking about our budget made me realize that I can't be the only parent out there who looks for AFFORDABLE (under $30) stuff their kids will ACTUALLY play with, so. . . .

Culled completely from my kids' Amazon wishlists. And if you click on the links from here, I might earn enough money to actually buy one of these things for my own kids. Not that they actually need any more toys. 

I know you're looking at that picture and thinking, "What the hell IS that?" That's exactly what I thought when my mom Santa got Bilibos for the older two kids a while back. Basically, the kids sit in them and spin, or tilt, or whatever. I have seen 3 year olds have fun in them and I have seen 10 year olds have fun in them. Hugmonkey, of course, wants his own this year.

Another one from Hugmonkey's list, these Dado squares are a fun open-ended toy that are great for traveling. We're big fans of building toys around here and though I'm pretty sure we could have an all Lego Christmas, I think it's important to change it up a little. Plus, these look easier to avoid stepping on than Legos.

Ironflower is still obsessed with American Girl dolls - and she'd better stay that way until she's 15 or so, with the money we've spent on them - though now she really covets their accessories. Which are just as ridiculously priced as the dolls. But these bunk beds fit American Girls just fine and cost less than half of what they'd cost if they actually came from American Girl. The brand is Badger Basket and they have a ton of stuff that works with American Girl.

Usually I hate board games. Rather, I hate board games that are appropriate for my children. Except for Apples to Apples. I looooooove this game and it's not just because I always win. We have this version, but there's also a Disney  version that kids will probably love.


This game is deceptively simple, portable and entertaining for preschoolers through adults. I like this one for letter recognition, but they've also got animal and holiday versions.

I put one of these on each kid's wishlist. Not because they asked for them, but because they go through art supplies like they're edible.


Hugmonkey actually got this for his birthday, but all of the kids have been playing with it. Even Ironflower, though she probably wouldn't want to broadcast that to some of her friends at school. I like Imaginext products a lot, they let my boys act out stories with figures without feeling like they're playing with dolls (Hot Guy and I would love for them to play with regular dolls, but school has already socialized them into thinking that boys don't do that). Some other fun and affordable Imaginext sets include the Castle Wizard Tower, Super Friends Gotham City Jail and the Monsters University Row.


Nancy B's Science Club Binoculars and Wildlife Activity Journal look like the perfect thing to supplement our hiking and geocaching activities. I got binoculars when I was a bit older the Ironflower and they entertained me for hours. (Note to self; do not let children spy on neighbors with binoculars, which I may have done way back when. Sorry, former neighbors.). Coming in at just over $30, Nancy B'S Science Club Microscope & Activity Journal also looks pretty awesome.


So. . . .there you have it, my first holiday gift guide. What awesome, affordable gifts did I leave out? And should I do a book gift guide?

Friday I'm in Love: The First Week of July

Hi, internet! I've missed you. I've been doing all this real life stuff - this is my birthday and anniversary week, plus the 4th of July. And the big kids had their first swim meet, too. So, this week I'm loving real life. . .

We went to Rocca, my favorite restaurant, for my and my dad's birthday.

We went to the park.

The team won their swim meet, but I don't know how the kids did. They had fun, though.

We went to my hometown 4th of July parade.

We went on a hike.

Ironflower did not want to come - she had the strength of will to pout the entire time.

I learned it's hard to capture fireworks with an iPhone.

This is the best one that does not have Hot Guy's head in it. 

Am I Supposed To Be Putting Together a Holiday Gift Guide?

So according to a bunch of emails I've received lately, I must be in the throes of putting together my holiday gift guide.

Clearly, I am doing this mom blogger thing all wrong. I mean, I sort of knew that when I wasn't getting free trips to Disney and thousands of hits a day, but I've always attributed that to my lazy streak and penchant for blogging about politics. And all the bitching I do. And the swearing. And the fact that I have never published a recipe. Or a cartoon. Or a craft.

Or, apparently, a gift guide.

Back when I started blogging, no one talked about gift guides. Those were in InStyle Magazine, not on mom blogs. We were so naive back in the aughts. But now that I think about it, why IS some assistant editor at InStyle more qualified to suggest gifts than I am?

I mean, obviously, for stylish gifts, I'm not the one to pick. But I know about toys. And books. And clothes from Lands End and The Children's Place. There's no reason that I couldn't do a gift guide. I like shopping. And when I can't afford to shop, I create extensive online shopping carts that make websites send me reminder emails, as if I was really going to buy $400 worth of stuff at The Children's Place and just forgot to put my credit card info in.

I get a lot of reminder emails.

But I do buy stuff during the holidays.

See the joy? I am really good at buying gifts. 

At least for children. 

I could do a children's gift guide. But is that selling out? I mean, if the list is truly stuff I recommend, not this crap marketing interns keep emailing me about. 

Next thing you know I'll be telling you guys my secrets to making Suddenly Salad pasta salad even better. 

What do you guys think? Do you do gift guides? Will I ruin my cynical bitch "brand" if I do one? 

Maybe It's Good That I Don't Usually Watch The News

This morning I actually turned on the news. The children, perhaps sated with the pound of candy they must have eaten yesterday, did not ask for breakfast the second we came down the stairs. Of course, it might not have been the chocolate at all - it might have been the fact that there were NEW TOYS. Some of which were still in their boxes.

I tackled the cars quickly enough. But then Ironflower brought me her Barbie Vacation House. As I pulled out the many pieces, I was very glad that Santa did not blow most of Ironflower's present budget on the Barbie Townhouse. If he had, I would have had to watch a movie while I put it together. Or maybe the entire Lord of the Rings series. As it was, I got to watch a rather large chunk of Headline News' morning cycle.

I didn't pay close attention, so I don't know why they were showing the video of a little boy on Christmas morning. But I know I dropped the itty bitty margarita pitcher (okay, the guide called it a lemonade pitcher, but it's pretty obvious to me that Barbie is more likely to drink margaritas while she's on vacation from being a pilot and a beauty queen and a ballerina and her 18 other jobs) when the little boy started his tantrum about getting books for Christmas.

Now, I'm not saying that my kids jumped up and down over everything they got. Lovebug MAY have opened a box of clothes, said, "New clothes!" and then tossed the box to the side without even noticing his new Lightning McQueen hat. Hugmonkey may have refused to open any presents after finding his first box of cars. Ironflower may have already forgotten about the Squinkies she had to have after seeing countless commercials for them (thanks, Hub!). But.

My kids do not throw tantrums when given any kind of gift.

And they actually like books. Not that you would have noticed this yesterday.

Though, honestly, it's not the kid's reaction to the books that upsets me ( Much. 3 year olds who hate picture books sometimes turn into 7 year olds who can't read and 18 year olds who vote for Sarah Palin). It's the parents laughing and putting it on YouTube. Sure, I've laughed about my kids' bad behavior before. But not in front of them. And I certainly haven't posted it on YouTube so the entire world can see my child act like a brat.

And then there's the fact that CNN thought this would be a great holiday segment.

You know what would be a great holiday segment, CNN? The kid in the ghetto who gets a book as his only Christmas present and is THRILLED. Or any of the people who volunteer with Toys for Tots and the other organizations that give to kids who will appreciate it.

Merry Christmas, Auntie Frankie and other things

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, whether it's filled with family and presents or Chinese food and movies. Or some combo thereof.

We are with my father-in-law's side of the family. I am watching Aunt Frankie for signs that she hates my children, simply because they are younger (and, okay, really, cuter) than her grandchildren and last year it pissed her off when everyone fussed over them. I used to like Aunt Frankie until I found out about the jealousy issues and this will be our first holiday together since I found out. I'm not supposed to know about her issues, so I'll have to maintain the WASP front and be nice.

But if either one of my children is upset by her (or her over-active grandsons) in any way, I'm so going Jersey on them.

(This is one of those times that I'm glad no one in my husband's family reads my blog.)
Labels: Aunt Frankie, Christmas, jealousy